Top Hollywood scientists predict that by 2015, 100% of all movies will be remakes. Some filmologists disagree, arguing that we will not achieve the Remake Singularity until after we have passed the Prequel Event Horizon, where all movies are prequels. Regardless of which theoretical camp they subscribe to, film specialists agree that Renaissance Man/thespian James Franco is a pivotal figure in film history. Some argue that his appearance in Oz, The Great and Powerful, may be the culmination of The Prequel Event Horizon and usher in the Total Remake Era. Let us explore what a Franco-dominated future might look like.
Eventually, Angelina Jolie is going to start getting old-lady scripts, no matter how much she might shriek and throw things at her creepily ageless husbandoid. Why not start with a blasphemous re-creation of ur-cougar Mrs. Robinson? A nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you!
Maybe in 2040 Angelina Jolie can play Maude in another remake of Harold and Maude. Perhaps. But not today.
Eventually James Franco would probably tire of sexing up elders like Angelina Jolie and Betty White, and would want to make a movie with some dudes.
James Franco would probably want an Oscar, eventually. Why not try it with 70s Oscarfest, The Sting? Everybody won Oscars for that. The guy who made Paul Newman’s sandwiches won an Oscar. The guy who shaved the yaks to make Robert Redford’s wig won an Oscar. Why not the latter day one-man Newman-and-Redford?
Hell, why not just remake every damned Steve McQueen movie? Imagine the awesome CGI car chase!
