It wouldn’t be election season in America without a special edition of the Once Daily Sausage. With most of the results now in the books, it’s time to slice open the electorate’s meaty casing and see which pig parts made it into our national pork product.
Today’s story starts with Bill Clinton and the 1996 Presidential Election.
From 1984 to 1996, the Democratic Party had gotten their asses handed to them pretty consistently and were struggling to find a national identity. Along comes a little known Governor from Arkansas who founds the Democratic Leadership Council, moderates the party, and swoops into office, ending twelve consecutive years of Republican Rule.
In hindsight, this may have been the worst thing that could have happened to the Democratic Party, simply because it somehow gave the Democratic Party the idea that running as Diet Republicans was the way to win elections. By moving right, they made themselves indistinguishable from the GOP. The problem is that progressive, liberal, and even left-of-center moderates don’t have any kind of brand loyalty to the Democratic Party, whereas conservatives will gleefully march to the polls and vote for anyone with an “R” next to their name, regardless of whether or not that person actually supports the same positions that they do. To put it another way, Democrats will vote for Republicans, but Republicans won’t vote for Democrats.
The reality of the situation is that Democrats have lost the elderly and white male vote, and aren’t getting them back. Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, and their ilk have latched on to their brain stems like an alien parasite from a particularly bad episode of Star Trek (“Shades of Grey”; TNG Season 2, Episode 22, in case you’re curious and/or hate yourself) and no amount of awfulness is going to drive them off. So, why pick Diet Republican candidates that aren’t adding a significant number of votes by appealing to elderly and white male voters, and in fact are actively turning off the people that might actually vote for Democratic candidates? It’s like these people aren’t even trying to win elections.
So, where does that leave us? Well, the GOP now controls the legislative branch in its entirety and has nominal control over the Supreme Court. The only thing standing between us and the Kansasification of the country is President Obama.
Mr. President, your job for the next twenty six months can be summed up in three words: hold the line. Do not give an inch. Do not compromise. Do not sign a single piece of legislation while holding your nose.
President Obama, you’re our only hope.
