Who’s the most powerful non-announced candidate for a proposed presidential run? Hillary Clinton. And the GOP has started their rage early. Rich Kids will still be rich but now on television — where you can mostly find them anyway. Ryan Seacrest to perfect his game show “Come on Down” voice, Batman will most likely need his prostate checked before gearing up for an upcoming movie. Steven Spielberg is able to say “No.” Michael Bay should always take a note. Lindsay Lohan and Oprah have a chat.
Haha! The GOP is a bunch of shot-in-the-foot Langoliers. They have no idea what the hell happened to their party only that selected for its mouthpiece is nutterbag supreme asscheese and RNC chair Ponce Amoebas, or Lance Crybus, or Reince Priebus. This guy. This guy has decided that a boycott of CNN and NBC is in order because they deign to show films on Hillary Clinton! In addition to boycotting he also says that the RNC will pull out of any 2016 primary debates including CNN and NBC. It’s like the Hillary Clinton actors will come through the television and coerce viewers into voting Democrat in the next election all on their own as if they were magic election deities reduced to television pixels. Like it will have nothing to do with the GOP’s constant alienation of women, minorities, and all others making less than six figures — i.e. most of the entirety of the planet. Priebus says this is a “thinly-veiled attempt at putting a thumb on the scales of the 2016 presidential election.” That’s a huge reach we think, Mance Sebum. Maybe you guys should start thinking ahead about candidates instead of about Hillary movies. You know so next time you don’t put up for election, Oopsie, Nine, Nine, Niney, Santorumey (self-explanatory), Moon Colony, and the Rombot Mittney Fumble Foil. Just a thought. Anyway, it’s good to know that the RNC is already running scared in 2013 at the thought of a little bit of Hollywood. [The Guardian]
Oh, barf. You know that insufferable Rich Kids Of Instagram Tumblr where all the rich spawn of yachting, caviar munching parentage get together and take pictures of themselves licking gold toilets or whatever? Yeah, well, E! is developing this thing into a reality series starring some of the kids featured. Of course. Yes, of course E! the network that works to Save A Kardashian One Kardashian at a Time, is going to produce this show. This will surely be a thing of heavy topics and will feature guileless debate about world affairs or it’ll just be a thing where a bunch of twenty-somethings with too much time and money will say things like, “Crap! My credit card charge finger has carpal tunnel! It’s cramping so hard!” And then we’ll all roll our eyes and watch Khloe Kardashian curse out her mom while everyone laughs with hysteria until they realize that this is totally not the same show — except that it is. Have fun wanting to punch these dorks in the face every episode, America! [Deadline]
Little stardust creamsicle, Ryan Seacrest, will walk into Regis Philbin’s Rockports and add game show hosting to his roster of annoying jobs. The Million Second Quiz, some sort of head-to-head trivia game wherein Seacrest will flit around haranguing contestants about things like, “What color was Molly Ringwald’s lipstick in The Breakfast Club when she did that stupid thing that made Judd Nelson recoil in loathing and desire?” We have no idea if this is actually a question that would make its way onto The Million Second Quiz, we just think this is something Seacrest spends his time pondering when he’s not counting his rich-money from all the things he does that anyone could do, but that he does, because he’s a tricky Mixelplix of a shilling garden gnome. So, The Million Second Quiz to air Monday, September 9 on NBC — not E!, the network Seacrest has traded to Kim and Kanye for exclusive rights to show their baby, “Golden Compass Child.” [Deadline]
Wanna see what a 40ish Batman would look like? Well, possibly Josh Brolin. Yep, for the Man of Steel sequel which we hope will be called, Man of Steel 2 Supremely Better than Man of Steel, will feature a grizzled, wearier Batman. You know, someone who’s been doing the job for forever and who’s now looking forward to collecting his pension, his gold watch, and settling down in his easy chair to fart while he orders Ginsu knives from HSN? Well according to a short list that’s been floating around the candidates for the role include Brolin, 46, Ryan Gosling, 32, Joe Manganiello, 36 (Alcide, True Blood), Richard Armitage, 41 (Thorin in The Hobbit), Matthew Goode, 35 (Ozymandias, Watchmen), and Max Martini, 43 (father in Pacific Rim.) Haha! Ryan Gosling. Sheesh. He’s the epitome of world weary and grizzled, is he not? Yes, sure, if that guy has abs like mini flesh boulders. [THR]
Steven Spielberg has decided that he will not direct the upcoming American Sniper. We smell some great, big controversy surrounding this decision. Something that has to do with lies and murder and intrigue and people doing dangerous and dark things. Er, that’s exactly what we would expect a “true” story about American sniping to be about. So maybe the issue is money or perhaps it’s possible lead actor pick, Bradley Cooper’s ubiquitous visage in any and everything that’s on film in recent memory. Seriously, does Cooper live in Spielberg’s attic sitting dormant while a life-size battery pack keeps him and Haley Joel Osment in a state of stasis until Spielberg finds a use for them both? Otherwise we have no idea how the Bradley AI Being keeps gearing up for all the movies he’s in. Perhaps it’s about a steady diet of Red Bull and Cheetos. [Variety]
Did you know Lindsay Lohan sat down with The Oprah for a talkie about addiction and being the poster child for “Celebrity **** Up?” Well, their little talk will air on August 18th on OWN so everyone can look at every eyebrow furrow, head wrinkle, and voice inflection of Lindsay for the sole purpose of judging whether or not we ever need to see her in a movie again. In celebration of this event EVERY CABLE STATION IN EXISTENCE HAS BEEN PLAYING MEAN GIRLS FOR THE LAST MONTH. (This is true even though it’s probably mainly a coincidence.)
Image Source: Flickr
