Proper way to bait a wild conservative into a debate…
1. Approach cautiously, wild conservatives are a skittish lot. Hold out your hand a tell a small lie like “I never thought of it that way” or “Wow you are making a really good point”
2. Build up a small rapport with him over something. This is very easy to do as they are always looking for allies to help them from the liberal hordes. Tell him you think Reagan had great hair, or that Rick Santorum is your hero.
3. Study the markings of your wild conservative carefully. You need to know the difference between a garden variety member of the GOP and a new breed of crazy known as the “Tea Party.” If your wild conservative starts spouting stuff about Ayn Rand or how Ron Paul should be President, you have bagged a Tea Partier. If he starts talking about abortion or something equally tedious you have one of the regular, more common (but possibly going extinct) variety.
4. Now that you have befriended and identified your conservative you need to start the debate process. It’s best to build up slowly, disagreeing on minor points but not pressing the issue with facts. After you get your conservative warmed up and in a fighting mood you can start vehemently disagreeing with them and assaulting them with facts. Remember not to resort to name calling, you are better than that.
5. The profound sense of betrayal your wild conservative has should keep you entertained for hours.
Hazards include – Tea Party Rash, Headdesk Syndrome, and an incurable case of Gopes.
