Any chimp can play human for a day, use his opposable thumbs to iron his uniform.
1) “A famous actor had a gossipy father. He was well-versed in the secrets of high society and of diplomatic and royal circles. (This is the father, not the actor, you understand). One of his favourite stories, which he gladly recounted at top dinner parties, concerned a prince of a European dynasty who had a youthful but short-lived affair with a lowly palace maid. What was surprising about this story was that at this stage of his life the prince was rumoured to be gay… especially in the world in which the gossipy father’s son moved.” [The Morton Report]
2) “Which Hollywood wife isn’t as long-suffering as she appears? While everyone gossips about her philandering husband, she is secretly seeing a handsome Australian?” [New York Post]
3) “Which partner of a “Real Housewife” is doing a terrible job of keeping his affair secret? The Housewife, who appears to be the only person not to know, even underwent a recent cosmetic procedure to spice up their sex life.” [New York Post]
4) “Which New York scenester has an exotic pet that keeps biting guests who come back to his pad to party late at night?” [New York Post]
5) “This tv star, who has some rom-com films under his belt, is begging his A-list girlfriend to marry him. She is considering it, but he insists on adopting her daughter after they marry. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings by vetoing him outright, but she has no plans to actually let him have any legal right to the child. However, he was up the creek after he referred to the child as his stepdaughter in front of mixed company. A huge fight led to a brief cool down in their relationship and he has remained quiet on the subject since.” [Hollywood Dame]
6) “It feels so intimate when reality couples discuss their desire to have a baby together in front of the cameras. But in the case of this reality show couple, it’s just downright hilarious. They will not be conceiving a baby together the old-fashioned way. That’s because he is gay and she is his beard. Ahh, young, fake love!” [Blind Gossip]
