Hollywood decides to uncomplicate the royals and goes with a simple name; HBO decides not to give us another movie about the lineage of Fox News; Charlie Sheen is somewhere perfecting his smug bastardry; Seth Meyers to find a daytime television suit of armor; web series give actors something to do.
Hollywood like most things doesn’t have time for too many letter characters. No, not when you can simplify with just one word. The new Princess Diana biopic which was named Caught in Flight, and starring Naomi Watts, will now just be named, Diana. Because think about it. The Queen starring Helen Mirren wasn’t named, The Corgi’s Mistress was it? Certainly not. And well, it’s probably better not to get this movie confused with something that could star any slew of American actors who have a penchant for appearing in movies about transportation. You know, an uncontrollable train, a plunging airplane, a rocket ship to Pandora? We the viewing public need things to be as simple as possible. And what’s simpler than just the first name? Ok. Sure. That’s probably too much for a text message. Maybe if Hollywood called it “Di” it would narrow it down even more, and save us from carpal tunnel. These are the things we think.[Collider]
HBO has decided not to proceed with a movie about bloated, lying, gasbag Roger Ailes, the odious, jowly, spirit-crushing maw-spewing head of rage machine, Fox News. The reason given is that since HBO is somehow affiliated with CNN, the script produced by rivals at MSNBC wouldn’t be objective. Oh, you think not? You think MSNBC writers were ever going to paint a glowing depiction of shrimp-giggles, Ailes? Oh, no. We’re pretty sure that thing would’ve been a skewering not shown on the HBO network, since, well, Game Change the television movie that featured a look at Sarah Palin that rendered her a crazed, power-hungry, idiot-person! There’s every indication this would’ve been far better and more tinged with nutty fuckery! Nikki Finke over at Deadline says that her coverage of the impending deal shuttered the project since it was supposed to be a huge craptacular secret. Well, shit, Nikki. That sucks. Stop ruining our joy! [Deadline]
Well, what do you get when Charlie Sheen can say, “I Told You So?” Herpes? Apparently his new show over at FX is a hit. And really, he told everyone, just everyone that it would be. He’s like a clairvoyant cocaine-fueled savant. Or minimally, a bleary-eyed rabbit’s foot made out of an adult male and sweat-soaked hotel sheets. Now that he left Two and a Half Men which is now an old piece of fish wrap left in a garbage scow, his new hit, Anger Management, has done so well that the Brits want a piece! Yikes. Comedy Central UK has acquired the exclusive U.K. broadcast rights from Lionsgate International, the mini-studio’s international TV arm, and is being hailed as the funniest show from this year’s screenings. Somewhere Jon Cryer is crying in a bowl of Fruit Loops. It really isn’t fair is it? Emilio Estevez will come over and talk you through it, Jon. That being, the inexplicable way his certifiable brother always gets everything. JUST EVERYTHING! [THR]
So it’s possible we’ll have to look forward to Kelly Ripa’s skeletal arm-claw shooting out and clasping onto Seth Meyers during the morning flirt-fest known as “Live with Kelly and Somebody.” The internet rumor mill has been going wild about his possible ascension to the show, which is like probably 40 million tweets and Facebook status updates that say, “Amy Poehler will make fun of Kelly Ripa on SNL Update once Meyers hits daytime TV!” This is funny because we know no one actually watches “Live with Kelly Ripa and Fill in the Blank.” When did Regis leave? Seems like it’s been forever. Why haven’t they found a replacement? We assume it’s because she’s succubused most every co-host who’s tried out. NPH won’t leave the How I Met Your Mother set just for that reason. Anderson Cooper came out just to avoid it. So we’ll have to say to Seth, “Good Luck buddy! Be careful, she gets hungry for souls mostly when you can’t remember a guest’s name, or their last movie. Mostly when that happens. Mostly.” [Showbiz411]
So, er, web series. Yes, they are the new thing! The thing people who brag that they don’t have televisions are doing. Everyone else tells them to shut it and watches television on a 52 inch, flat screen like God intended. So you teevee-less hobos, yes, this is a thing for you in place of tv land. Well, not that TVLand — like the network where aging sitcoms are shown — but like in place of network television. Actors are now filming themselves doing mundane things like riding around in cars with, yes, stars of aging sitcoms like on TV Land. We’re totally sure this is a coincidence. Totally. Here’s a new series from Jerry Seinfeld called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. It looks like a cross between Taxi Cab Confessions and a NBC cast party from 1994. Anyway, check it out on the Sony-owned video online hub Crackle at 9 PM ET on July 19. [Deadline]
