Cameron Diaz to prove she can act; Webmovies are a thing; Does Law & Order make a Chung-Chung sound; Chris Hemsworth to not be Thor in a movie; it’s Britney, Bitch.
Hey, Cammie D. to maybe take the male-juice out her hair completely and be a serious actress now. She’s in final talks to join the cast of The Counselor, the Ridley Scott-directed drama, alongside Michael Fassbender, Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz. Well, now, that’s a pretty big come-up from most of the fluff and drivel she’s done lately. We didn’t hate her performance in My Sister’s Keeper, or In Her Shoes, so maybe she can really tame the bubble-brainness and really dig into a movie role. Good Luck, Cammie D.! Say no to Ben Stiller always from now on. [Deadline]
What the hell is a web movie? Well, Olivier Martinez and Missy Peregrym know because they’ll be starring in one called Cybergeddon, which has got to be the lamest of lame sounding movie names I’ve ever heard. Why not just call it Internetzboom?! The logline says, “Chloe and her team must crack the worldwide cybercrime ring led by Gustove Dobreff (Martinez) before it is too late.” Sounds new-wavey and like people will say things like, “The Detective Hacker Team will have this sorted, don’t you worry.” Anyway, so there’s that. So, we’re thinking awesome? No. [Deadline]
Doink, Doink. Or is it Bonk, Bonk? Well, whatever the gavel sound over at the Law & Order factory is, NBC has decided to renew Law & Order SVU about rapes and Olivia Benson searching endlessly for her soulmate, Eliott Stabler, because without him the show is a mish-mash of sad people trying to act their way out of a paper bag and failing miserably, especially the blond one, the replacement Stabler, and Munch. Always Munch. So, really, if this show is going to continue limping along, they desperately need a tough guy again. Somebody find out what the hell Vin Diesel is doing. [Deadline]
Huge, gyrating sex pimple, Chris Hemsworth, will be in another movie. Well, that was sure to happen since he’s been so successful as Patrick Swayze from Point Break, but starring in Thor, Hammer Smash Bandicoot, and Avengers Lightning Ace. He’ll be in something called Shadow Runners, right after he stars in the Red Dawn remake. See, told you it was all about Swayze. Shadow Runners is said to be about a “former Navy SEAL (Hemsworth) who tries to recapture his potential and repair a rift with an old comrade in arms, as he leads a team of elite international operatives on a mission against a mysterious enemy.” Yep, sounds like something an outer world, blond God would do. Well, it was either him or Ashton Kutcher. Seriously, nothing about this movie sounds interesting, so naturally we think Ashton Kutcher or Chris Hemsworth. [Deadline]
It seems Britney Spears will probably be the new judge of American Idol’s British stepsister, The X Factor. We’re just going to say that if Paula Abdul can discuss singing on live television, so can Britney.
