ABC needs to come up with another idea, CBS is king of night humping; Jonah Hill puts his funny behind him; Dish fires Don Draper; Showtime and TNT keep their roster intact; Machete Kills gets a new star; and crazy people be crazy.
Well, this seems like such a meta argument, it’s hard to really find a winner here. ABC has recently announced the summer launch of a show called Glass House. CBS is miffed because apparently Glass House is just like their flaming turd of a detestable reality show from the dregs of the bottom of the television toilet bowl, called Big Brother. So they’ve fired off a cease and desist letter to ABC. We imagine it says something like, “Hey, you! Stop making that show about dumb people being filmed in night vision cam, because we’ve been doing it for years, and we corner the market on dumb people humping in night vision!” Really, though. Who still watches Big Brother? We’re not counting anyone who thinks truck stop restrooms are romantic, or anyone in Sarah Palin’s entire family — which could be one and the same. Seriously, who? This sounds like fighting over a subset of society that one should be trying to get rid of instead of pumping more money into. At least spend it on better TV, or at least fewer incidences of STDs. [Deadline]
Here’s a personal anecdote for you. My mom came over last weekend and wanted to watch a movie. The one she said she wanted to watch was called Irresponsible. My brother and I racked our brains trying to figure out what movie she was talking about because nothing that we knew of had that name. Everything we thought came close wasn’t the movie she was talking about. Finally, angry at our patent misunderstanding and refusal to concede her correctness, she said, “You know, Irresponsible! Starring the guy who lost all that weight and rode around town with those kids! You know Irresponsible?! Irresponsible with the kids!” “Hahahahaaaa,” we both said, “Jonah Hill in The Sitter?” She thought about it and said, “Well, maybe that’s it.” She’s hilarious. So, yeah, Hill will keep his serious streak going and will star in the Martin Scorsese-directed, Leo DiCaprio starrer, The Wolf Of Wall Street. He’ll play DiCaprio’s best friend in the movie. So no more irresponsible for Jonah Hill. He’s all responsible, all the time, now. [Deadline]
Well, we don’t know what you Dish people did in another life, but somehow the gods aren’t smiling upon you. Your fabulous satellite television-thingy carrier will no longer carry AMC after some sort of money grubbing dispute has left them reeling. It’s all a bit convoluted with regard to who owned what way back in 2008, but Dish is certain AMC didn’t hold up its end of the bargain. There are claims of destruction of evidence! Countersuits! and Dish says because of faulty dealings they ended up with “lackluster channels that generated little consumer or distributor interest.” Well, that’s a true shame for you Dish customers. You won’t be able to see Mad Men as of June, but not to fear, Dish says “You can still see Mad Men, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad and other AMC shows through such outlets as Amazon, iTunes and Netflix. Thanks, Dish. “What the hell am I paying you for?,” says the customer. [THR]
Hey! Your favorite show about sexy papals just got renewed for a third season. Showtime’s The Borgias is coming back. So get out your inappropriate pointy hat and celebrate hearing the show about god and heaving bosoms will be back for another titillating season. [Deadline]
Hey! Your favorite show about police people — which was relocated to basic cable after NBC choked on all its ideas and sold off one of the few good shows it had to make room for a whole slate of shit – is back! TNT’s Southland has been renewed for a fifth season. [Deadline]
Sophia Vergara’s transformation into Salma Hayek from ten years ago is nearly complete. She will next be seen on the big screen in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills. Erm, okay, well, she’ll play a whorehouse madam! But! It’s Robert Rodriguez and his grind house type films are pretty entertaining, and we like Danny Trejo, right? Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. How is this any worse than what she does on Modern Family, really? [Variety via Vulture]
Today in Crazy:
Ted Nugent, as crazy as ever, cuts into a CBS anchor: Ted Nugent cursed out a CBS News anchor and a producer during an interview at his ranch in China Spring, Texas, on Friday. Before his tirade he says, “I’m an extremely loving, passionate man, and people who investigate me honestly without the baggage of political correctness ascertain the conclusion that I’m a damn nice guy.” or a crazy fooking jackalope who should never be given a mic or a platform. [THR]
Courtney Love is living the good life: “Every day I have my house manager, Hershey – who I stole from the Mercer Hotel with André Balazs’s blessing – wake me up with a hot washcloth for my face, a leg rub, and a plate of toast soldiers.” What are toast soldiers? Do we want to know? Are they doused in experimental mood stabilizers? Or are they just pieces of toast cut into the shape of teeny, tiny Nutcrackers? We may never know. [Vulture]
