When the queens enter the workroom, there is such a sense possibility now that we’re down to the final four. Only one more queen to be eliminated before the finale. No one is sad that Kenya’s gone. They’re still The Fantastic Four, as Latrice says, that they were before Kenya’s resurrection. So, let’s see what challenges the final four dealt with this week.
You’ve Got She-Mail & Mini Challenge
During She-Mail, Ru makes all kinds of dog references. Woof woof, Ru.
The mini challenge is to have a bitchfest…with puppet versions of themselves. Chad is hilarious as she makes fun of Phi Phi, including some great digs about her snaggletooth. As usual, Phi Phi has no sense of humor about herself. Although the other queens have some funny moments, Chad easily wins.
Main Challenge
The main challenge is going to be the first ever Bitch Ball. They’ll be doing it “doggy style.” The queens will need to come up with looks for three categories:
Daytime Dog Park Realness
Pooch in a Purse Party Girl
Canine Couture
For that last category, they are literally paired up with dogs, and Chad–as mini challenge winner–gets to assign a dog to each queen. The queens’ couture looks must coordinate with the pooch they were assigned. Chad assigns Phi Phi a bloodhound, and the dog is a handful, jumping up on Phi Phi, trying to mount Phi Phi, etc. True to form, Phi Phi becomes all kinds of cunty about it.
When Ru visits the workroom, she informs the queens that in addition to modeling three looks they also have to choreograph and perform a Broadway style number. As they practice the number, Phi Phi becomes more and more enraged, but Chad does her best to lead the group.
As the queens prepare for the main stage show, Sharon has a lot of trouble sewing her costumes. Latrice thinks this is it for Sharon Needles, and even Sharon herself predicts the top three will be Latrice, Chad and Phi Phi.
Main Stage
The judges are Michelle Visage, Santino Rice, Rose McGowan and Wynonna Judd.
The opening Broadway-ish number is fun and silly. Phi Phi somehow manages to conceal her rage and appear almost lighthearted–she truly is an illusionist.
Latrice’s looks are solid (I especially liked the couture look), but they might be interpreted as a bit safe.
Phi Phi goes very costumey with her looks, jumping from Nicki Minaj burn victim to fried Florida realness. I have the usual problems with her hair and makeup.
Sharon actually really turned it out despite her worries and all that fake-out editing. Her dog park look made the most sense to me out of all four queens’ looks in this category. Her party girl look truly could be mistaken for one of Hollywood’s current drugged out starlets, and her couture look really stole the show. Those boots!
Chad is polished as always, but her Cruella couture look feels a bit too…Upper East Side lady who dresses twenty years younger than her age.
During critiques, Chad seems to get the most negative criticism. As one of the queens pointed out at the beginning of the episode, they’re at the point right now where if you’re not at the top, you’re at the bottom–there’s no middle ground to escape to.
Ru asks which bitch doesn’t deserve to be in the top three. Sharon and Chad say Phi Phi. Latrice and Phi Phi say Sharon. Phi Phi shrieks at Sharon for saying she doesn’t value family, claiming she’s just a fierce competitor. No, SnaggleTooth, you really are the least sisterly of the bunch. Just own it. You really have no room for personal growth, Phi.
Sharon Needles wins the challenge. Phi Phi’s face nearly explodes with rage and jealousy.
Lip Synch for your Life
Latrice and Chad are the bottom two queens and must lip synch some Wynonna Judd to make it to the top three.
Chad really brings the song to life. Latrice seems so much more unsure of herself than she did last week when she sent Kenya packing. Shantay Chad stays. Latrice sashays away. You guys, I’m not going to lie, I totally cried. Latrice is such a beautiful, graceful, talented, inspirational, well grounded queen. She belongs in that top three. SnaggleTooth Cunt Phace Phi Phi does not. I am sure Latrice’s career has been boosted by her appearance on this show, and I wish her all the best in everything she does. She deserves it.
Sorry, kids, no summary of Untucked this week. The New Now Next Awards preempted Untucked, and I fell asleep like an old man before Untucked aired at 11:30. It looks like next week we have a clips episode of unaired footage, and the finale will be the following week.
C.U.N.T. and C U Next Tuesday
Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent: Sharon Needles, who is the clear front runner going into the finale. If she can make sure her confidence is not shaken, believe in her own abilities and give 100% as she has week in and week out, this bitch is going to win, and she deserves it. She is America’s next drag superstar.
C U Next Tuesday: Phi Phi O’Hara, who never should have made it this far. I predict she’ll be the first queen cut from the final three before a Chad and Sharon showdown.
