Last week on Apprentice! The teams had to create a commercial hawking the benefits of entertainment.com. Forte failed to entertain the executives, and I am 110% sure that Lou got fired. He totally pulled a Consuela from Family Guy and was all, no, I’m not leaving. But Trump assured him that verily, it was so. It was an immensely enjoyable bit of television.
When Lisa and Dayana return to the suite sans Lou, Lisa and Clay immediately begin arguing. Lisa gives a deconstruction of Lou being Sally Sensitive in the boardroom. I’d have been a little sensitive if all the tea leaves said I’d be fired. Aubrey hopes Clay and Arsenio get split up so the Wonder Twins can’t activate their awesome powers of getting along and working well together.
Teresa presents a $60,000 check to her charity the Netcare Foundation, her prize for her win as PM in the last task.
For this week’s task, teams must build two puppet characters with the Jim Henson Creature Shop and perform an adult show before a live audience. Forte and Unanimous get shuffled again because, for whatever reason, the task requires four-person teams. I’m pretty sure it’s Trump who wants four people on each team. Trump pretends to care who the celebs in the three-person group want from the other side. After humoring them, he sends Clay over to Forte, I think? All of this switcharooing makes it hard to keep track of who comprises what team anymore. I think Teresa, Paul, Aubrey and Arsenio are Unanimous and Lisa, Dayana, Penn and Clay are the new Forte. Lisa is PM for Forte and Paul takes the PM mantle for Unanimous. His gregarious, outgoing personality should make this fun to watch. Overall quality and improvisation will be the criteria on which teams are judged.
Dayana suggests an idea to her team. Lisa doesn’t so much shoot it down as say ‘let’s hear anything that’s not your idea.’
Teresa suggests puppets looking like Aubrey and Arsenio because one of them is black and the other is white!! The depths of her creativity leave me without speech. Meanwhile, Aubrey concludes that she needs to be a team player.
Unanimous arrives to check out the puppets at Henson Improvisational Group. Paul has hurt his back. Aubrey gives Paul suggestions, and Arsenio praises Aubrey in one of his Talking Heads for allowing Paul to lead but offering ideas as well. Arsenio notes she’s become a great team player. Paul is all, ok, I decided to be PM but I need you guys to step up because I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
At the Unanimous meeting with the Henson people, the executives advise that taking a safe approach is not terribly funny, but that risks are preferable. The executives advise Forte to create broader characters, which I suppose means puppets that can be used in a variety of improv situations. Lisa claims to know when the ‘inappropriate’ line is being crossed.
Lisa assigns a performing role to everyone except Dayana. She ain’t taking no chances because Dayana isn’t easily understood, and she stresses that it’s not always about being in front of the camera. Dayana just wants to be involved. Clay suggests Dayana could design the puppets. Dayana does a great impression of Lisa bitching and complaining about doing everything on every task. She should win this stupid show based on that impression alone.
I don’t care how dumb “Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files” looks. I am SO watching that show.
Unanimous goes to the workshop to learn how to make puppets. Arsenio supports Aubrey’s idea of a mohawk puppet, and she returns the favor by saying he’d understand that because he’s bald. Sigh. The queen of passive-aggressive behavior, that one.
Dayana and Penn are prepping puppets, and Unanimous is dressing and naming their puppets. Arsenio easily comes up with the name Periwinkle because it’s blue. Paul asks Teresa to name hers, and she hilariously can’t come up with anything, which he notes to his dismay. I love the WTF look that he gives her. Aubrey doesn’t want to offer ideas because she’s been told to simmer down. Forte gets improv advice from the Henson people.
Unanimous still needs to figure out how to maneuver their puppets and has not yet met with the Henson folks to learn how to do this. It’s not clear what direction Paul is providing to the team because he doesn’t seem to be doing much. Eventually, they get a crash course on puppeteering technique. The Henson people tell Teresa to open the mouth once for every syllable. Teresa immediately has problems grasping this concept. She’s just not getting it. Arsenio admires her pluckiness and the fact that she’s so cute. Aubrey tells us how impressed she is with herself, so she’s not worried. I would have never guessed that.
Henson’s peeps are impressed with how Dayana has dressed the puppet she’s working on. Penn notices this and says he does not trust what people (read: Lisa) say in the BR (read: endless complaining about Dayana’s alleged uselessness).
Eric stops by to check on Forte’s progress and asks how Dayana is doing. He sees that Dayana was quiet and questions whether she’s uncomfortable being on the team. Ivanka visits Unanimous and mentions that she has seen Paul’s energy level higher than it is now. This may be due in part to his injured back, but it may also be because he’s simply a low-key guy. Ivanka notes that Aubrey is quiet but also thinks she needs to strike a balance between deferring to the PM while still offering creative ideas.
The Henson folks ask if Dayana is puppeteering in the show, which she’s not. Clay, Penn and Lisa have clearly defined tasks, while Dayana is relegated to dressing one of the puppets.
As Unanimous gets improv tips from the Henson folks, Teresa says that it’s unclear what Paul’s role is on the task. Aubrey, who will host the presentation, notes that she and Arsenio are carrying the majority of the task while Teresa is confused about what’s going on. Arsenio tries giving Teresa improv pointers while the team heads to the theater on the day of the show. Per Aubrey, Teresa brings nothing to the table except her bubbly, childlike personality.
Clay tries to suggest some marginal role for Dayana during the performance, but Lisa’s not having it. She insists that Dayana is already involved. Just because Dayana’s not on stage doesn’t mean she’s not participating. She and Dayana get into it and Lisa tells Dayana do whatever she wants and flat out tells her to shut up. Fuck, yeah – teamwork!! Dayana walks away crying, saying Lisa has no respect for her, and Lisa loses it, too. It’s obvious to Clay that Lisa is threatened by Dayana’s looks. Penn says that Lisa was loud and unpleasant, and truthfully she’s pretty indefensible at this point.
Penn hosts Forte’s presentation. Clay and Lisa perform, and Dayana is backstage clapping for the team. The audience yells ideas, and the team picks a few of those ideas to performance. They do riffs on Iceland, Genghis Khan, and late-night infomercials. They go a little risque, and the Henson folks seem to be having a good time and enjoying the show.
Over at Unanimous, Paul feels no pressure because he’s “sitting on the sidelines.” I’ll say. Arsenio does his best to do a skit based on the audience suggestions for Norwegian dentistry. Aubrey is picking the most obscure suggestions from the audience, and I wonder if she’s doing this on purpose. Teresa’s turn is a little uncomfortable – she keeps telling her fellow puppet Johnny Appleseed with whom she’s performing that”you’re not Johnny!”
Trump immediately starts the BR by asking Dayana and Lisa how they got along. Dayana replies that Lisa was a good, not great, PM, while Lisa did not think much of Dayana because she wanted to be on stage when it was not appropriate. Lisa sez she was one of the puppeteers because she has done improv before. Ivanka thinks Lisa made the right choice regarding who should be on stage; in addition to Lisa’s improv experience, Clay has apparently done puppeteering in the past. Thus, Dayana shouldn’t feel slighted. Lisa says that Dayana’s accent made it difficult to put her on stage. Inexplicably, Lisa begins crying and states she may not bring anyone back into the BR if they lose. She became a comedian to make people happy, not to make people cry, so she may bring herself in, or something.
Trump probes for weaknesses on Paul’s team, and Paul bites by replying Teresa takes a long time to make up her mind. I’m fascinated by her hair. How long did it take to get that beehive in effect?
Positives for Lisa’s team: Lisa, Clay and Penn were great in their roles. To Dayana’s credit, the puppets were simple and clean. Negatives: Penn missed a few cues to end certain segments, and one of the acts was too shexshay. On Paul’s team, Arsenio’s puppetry was great and he was good on stage. Aubrey had good instincts as a host. In terms of cons, the show was too safe, the puppets were too complex and Teresa violated sacred improv rules – you’re not supposed to incorporate negatives into the act. The win goes to . . . Lisa’s team. She wins $20,000 for Gay Men’s Health Crisis.
In the BR, Trump raises the complexity and lack of versatility of Unanimous’ puppets, which were made by Arsenio and Teresa. She insists Paul made the final call, and he throws it right back on the individual puppeteers. Because Teresa continued adding stuff to her puppet, he says that she’s responsible for the resulting complexity. Teresa doesn’t think Paul did anything, and after awkwardly telling Aubrey to back her up she gleefully lets loose a string of expletives mimicking Paul’s attitude towards the task. Teresa loves Paul, but she’s gotta throw him under the bus since he’s doing it to her.
Aubrey sez Teresa has a great heart (which is Aubrey-speak for she’s not that bright but quite plucky and means well) and she gives 110%. Hey, is Lou back there acting as puppetmaster putting words in her mouth? He was totes serious last week about not leaving. She also says that Teresa thinks quickly (you can tell Aubrey doesn’t believe this) but the execs did have problems with Teresa not adhering to the improv rules. Aubrey would rather move forward with Teresa, probably because she doesn’t consider Teresa a threat. Arsenio thinks Paul is very bright and would rather move forward with him. He’s making quite a showing of defending Paul.
Paul allows Arsenio to escape the BR. Trump reminds him that the executives did not like the puppets and Arsenio made one of them, **hint I’m primed to fire Arsenio so bring him back hint** but Paul sticks with his choice. Paul is clearly not versed on the perils of ignoring Trump’s, ahem, suggestions. We’ve read this book before and know all too well how it ends.
Trump asks Aubrey why Paul brought her back. True to form, she defends herself brilliantly. Trump harps on the fact that the executives loved Aubrey’s work but disliked Arsenio’s product. Is Paul trying to protect Arsenio? Trump asks whether Teresa had good ideas. Aubrey replies that Teresa put forward all the ideas in her head. Teresa says that it was improv, so you don’t have to come up with any ideas. See how that works? Neither do I. Dear God, this dolt is in over her head. She then begins challenging something Aubrey says about her till Ivanka points out that Aubrey was trying to compliment her. Aubrey would fire Paul because Teresa tried very hard to be good at something she’s not good at, and one needs to find where Teresa’s talents are best utilized. Damn, this girl is good.
Trump leads Paul down the primrose path of doom: he was the PM; he signed off on everything done in the task; the execs thought Aubrey was great and he should have brought Arsenio back into the BR. Paul said he didn’t think of it that way, but it doesn’t matter what he thinks. Trump has his mind made up because Paul gave Arsenio a pass and should not have done so, therefore Paul is fired. Paul is all, whatevs, I’m outta here.
Paul exudes class, saying it was an honor working with Trump and although he’s usually the one doing the firing it was a great experience. Bye, Paul. We hardly knew ye.
Image via bostonherald.com
