Meet Your Crassholes: Getting to Know MonkeyBiz

Our own tunamelt was kind enough to ask me a couple of questions over Google Hangout this afternoon, and I took a few more from the peanut gallery as well. So, enjoy!

Physiological

What would I find in your refrigerator right now?

I share a house with three other dudes who are only here part time, so there are a lot of condiments. Salad dressings, barbeque sauces, mustards, etc. As for me personally, I think I have some rye bread, corned beef, a pork chop, tomato sauce, and some eggs.

What’s the most important part of the sandwich?

The meat. Everything else is secondary. Good meat makes a sandwich.

What thread count are your bed sheets?

600. I know what’s up.

Safety

What was the first thing you purchased with money you earned yourself?

Much as I do now, probably a toy.

You hear a loud, mysterious noise at night. What is your first thought?

If it sounds like an explosion, it’s “Someone set my car on fire. Again.” If it’s stuff falling down, it’s “Leo isn’t getting enough attention because it’s 4am and I’m trying to sleep.”

Love/Belonging

Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? (Examples: a public place, the roof of a barn, the middle of a crop circle, anywhere in the state of New Jersey.)

The roof deck of my old apartment in Chicago, overlooking Broadway Avenue.

What is your most vivid memory of you and your childhood friends?

My friend Mark was graduating from Illinois. My other two best friends, Luke and Charlie, had just finished as well, so the three of us went to Champaign and got hammered. We were all hungover as hell the next morning, and while Mark was at his commencement, the three of us got steak and eggs at an IHOP and sent him pictures. He was pissed, and spent the whole ride home cursing us out.

Esteem

What is your favorite thing about yourself?

It took me a long time to accept myself and just be me, and I’m proud of it. I am who I am, and I’m gonna be the best me I can be.

What awards did you win in kindergarten or elementary school?

Thanks to a paperwork error, I won Student of the Month twice (you were only supposed to win once). Even then they recognized my genius.

Self-actualization

How do you define creativity? Using that definition, do you have any creative pursuits and what inspired you to pursue them?

I think of creativity as the act of creation. It’s turning a new thought or idea, whether to you or society, into something. As for me personally, I paint and I write and I play around in Photoshop.

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