So apparently there’s a Twitter feed that publishes selections of overheard conversations from the Goldman Sachs elevator and it’s been around for a while, although it was only recently brought to my attention. The New York Times actually featured an anonymous interview with the person behind it back in August 2011.
But because I hate myself, and apparently, you guys, I scrolled all the way back to August and pulled out some of the more horrifying tweets for your judgement and tears. Seriously, this twitter feed has everything. Real or not real, it kind of made me want to invest in some pitchforks and torches.
General Snobbery And/Or Classism
There are actually people who think these things.
- #1: Why do people wear wool if they know cashmere exists?
- #1: Groupon… Food stamps for the middle class.
- #1: I never give money to homeless people. I can’t reward failure in good conscience.
- #1: They shouldn’t blame me personally. I’m not the one who told them student loans were an investment.
Creepy Misogyny
These are especially bad because you know it’s not just entitled finance people who think some of these things.
- #1: Girls with huge boobs will never know if they’re really interesting.
- #1: Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I’d wonder where the rest of my money went.
- #1: She’s only about 3 weeks of anorexia away from looking hot. #2: Maybe 4.
- #1: If you want a friend, get a dog. If you want a friend with benefits, find some chick who’s in PR.
- #1: I’m going Roethlisbergering tonight.
- #1: Last night, I watched some dude blatantly try to take advantage of a drunk girl. #2: So, he beat you to it.
- #1: Magazines dedicate entire issues to ‘Women in Business.’ #2: How much can you write about secretaries? #2 (to Skirt#1): Kidding.
That Old Standby, Casual Racism
Yup.
- #1: Whenever I see a black guy with my last name, I can’t help but wonder if my family used to own his.
- A#1: Think about how much higher unemployment stats would be if so many black guys didn’t call themselves ‘entrepreneurs.’
- #1: I love watching Asian guys smell and swirl their wine obnoxiously. And then their faces get all blotchy. Pussies.
- #1: My only inter-racial experience was with a black sock. Once.
- #1: I sent a Happy Pearl Harbor Day message to a few guys in Tokyo. Told them I expect a Congratulations back on August 6th & 9th.
- #1: Whenever I see an interracial couple, I always think to myself “Hey, there’s an interracial couple.”
Homophobia!
Apparently, in finance speak, ‘gay’ and ‘European’ are interchangeable.
- #1: Most Brits aren’t gay, but their socks are.
- #1: I always thought he was a closeted homosexual. #2: It’s possible that he’s just a closeted European.
