Well it’s holiday time and that means tedious gift-giving. Got an uncle who won’t shut up about the original intent of the Constitution, or an annoying cousin won’t shut up about the constraints of the patriarchy? This gift guide is for you. Click the image on any of the gifts to buy it on Amazon.
The 2012 Election Coloring Book. This first gift is for the little politics nerd in your life. If you buy them this, it might make up for all of the times they will be shoved into a locker this year. If anything, we may want to pool our money together and buy this for Cletar (yes, it contains pages with Michele Bachman), who would put it to good use. The book contains nine major candidates and political buttons your little patriot can design themselves. At $9.95 this is a steal.
The Economist. You can never go wrong with The Economist. Liberals love it because they think it makes them smarter than their hippie friends, and conservatives love it because they think it makes them part of the ruling elite, instead of the rednecks that they really are. Plus reading The Economist makes you look super smart on airplanes and everyone loves it when they think other people think they are smart. Bonus points: some of the sharpest coverage and commentary in the world.
American Experience: The 1930s. What better way to wallow in your glumness about the decline of America’s economic prowess than by revisiting the last time we got ourselves into this shit. American Experience is a fabulous show and this series is particularly well-crafted. It is even enough that both liberals and conservatives will feel vindicated by it. It is also an excellent gift for the olds, just do the grand kids a favor and get them out of the house before the stories of childhood hardships start.
The Almanac of American Politics 2012. This is the ultimate guide to government officials and would be a great gift for the letter writer/political busybody in your life. This is also great for people who like to do district-by-district election predictions (not that I know anything about that). This is really a fantastic reference for anyone interested in how our government works and who is making it work that way. Contains an incredible amount of information for every district in the country. I still use my 2010 copy all the time.
Risk. The ultimate game for the the power hungry. Risk kicks ass. Although it is clearly a tool to teach militarism, liberals secretly love it because who doesn’t want to be fucking Alexander the Great? Plus, with enough liquor added to the mix, a game of Risk can finally set off that family blow out you secretly hoped would happen this holiday season. Disclaimer: The Grand Inquisitor may or may not have been banned from playing Risk with some friends who are just a bunch of pussies anyway.
These gifts are all sure to please that blow hard that you love despite their irritating and drunk lectures throughout your holiday dinner. If you are lucky, your gift will keep them busy long enough for you to get a couple drinks in before they turn on Fox or MSNBC.
