While traveling home from my trip, I was unfortunate enough to sit in front of a mother/son duo who happened to be planning the son’s bar mitzvah. The son was acting like Spaulding from Caddyshack, he was discussing his desperate “wants and needs” for the celebration after the ceremony. His mother, in utter exasperation, finally shouted at him the equivalent of “You will get nothing and like it.” She lamented that she wished her son would spend more time and energy in preparing for the ceremony rather than the magicians, sushi bar, 14 piece band and the rest of party’s entertainment he was demanding. His response was to say, “Why do you want to make me so unhappy?!”
My friend and I were talking about the scene that we witnessed on the plane in the context of the Thanksgiving holiday on our car ride home from the airport. Naturally it led to the topic of gratitude. As parents, we want our children to feel thankful for the many blessings they have and to have a glass is half full versus half empty attitude.
I think that it is tough for our culture to feel gratitude these days. The economy is a mess; our political system is broken; and many people are out of work or underemployed. It is so easy to notice the bad things in life — especially when they are hitting you in face with every newscast or headline. It takes effort and attention to notice the good things, especially when things look bleak around you.
With my children, I am careful not to spoil them. A spoiled child is one who feels that the world owes him or her everything, and thus, gratitude is not a part of this belief system. Gratitude is a way of expressing thankfulness and how can he feel grateful for which he feels rightfully belongs to him? A sense of entitlement that the world owes him or her something is an attitude I fight with my kids; and if I am honest, myself from time to time.
Without getting too kumbaya here, I do believe that the active practice of being grateful changes not your outlook on life but help attracts more positive people, things and events in your life.
A family tradition we have around our Thanksgiving table is we go around each person expresses 10 things, people or events for which we are grateful and why. It is a great way to gain insight on what you feel is important in your life. Ten is a tough number because once you get through your initial top three to five, you need to dig deep to figure out what is important to you and why.
For me this year, I am so very grateful that my Dad has been returned to a state of relative health. Last year at this time, he was placed on a heart transplant list and things looked quite bleak. As we speak, my Dad is at the hospital’s cardiac rehab workout program that he attends three times per week and he shot the best golf of his life this summer (an activity that is very important to him). Last year at this time, he and I were talking about what would happen to my wack-a-doo Mom if he were to pass away. Things are very different today, and I am beyond thrilled for him, my Mom and myself.
This is a site that loves the snark and witty comebacks (another thing for which I am grateful), but in all seriousness: What are you grateful for this Thanksgiving?
