As I get older I can look back on my mostly misspent youth and point to certain incidents or episodes, these are the things that irrevocably changed my life whether for better or for worse. Picking the single most influential of these would be impossible, because when you start getting older the number of these events becomes too numerous to pick just one. Was it your first kiss? A book? A movie? Doing something for the first time? Let’s explore shall well. Please keep in mind I might be from a different generation that you and some of you might have a hard time imagining how something like some of these things could change your life, but we were young, dumb and didn’t have the internet.
I think the first time I figured out girls were something other than card carrying members of the cooties brigade would be when I saw Porky’s for the first time on HBO. Kim Catrall might not look so great now but back then she was the fucking shit. Porky’s would invariably trigger my lifelong fascination with boobs and eternal quest to “get laid” even though I had no idea what it meant. (Remember no internet to educate me)
The first time I realized I might be different than the rest of the class (i.e. nerdier) was in 7thgrade when we were given The Hobbit to read. I devoured that book. I may have read that book 6 or 7 times in the time it took the rest of the class to read it once. I was always an avid reader but I only half understood the Anne McCaffery books on my mom’s bookshelves, even though they were cool and had dragons, a lot of it was past my comprehension. The Hobbit was the first fantasy novel I read where I truly understood everything. I totally owned the post book read debate about whether Bilbo was entitled to the gem from the treasure horde, almost without even trying.
The first time I played Pac-Man, oddly enough was in a bar and not in a video arcade. My mom’s boyfriend was a drunk and when she left for work he left for the bar with me in tow during the summer. I learned to shoot pool and play cards but mostly the bartender took pity on me and gave me special red painted quarters for the Pacman machine. This would be when my video game addiction began to form.
The first (and only time) I watched as another person die I had been driving in the mountains with some older kids when we came across a car that had rolled down the hill. The man was not that hurt, but totally losing his shit, the reason being that his wife was lying in the road with the top of her skull sheared off and hanging on by a flap of skin. I held the top of her head on while another friend performed CPR and others went for help. I watched the life go out of her eyes, it still gives me nightmares, but because of it I rarely lose my shit in a pressure situation.
The first time I had sex. I mean this changes almost everyone’s life right? A whole new world of possibilities open up to you. I remember thinking it was the greatest fucking thing (no pun intended) in the goddamn world. I was ready to go again (and did) 10 minutes later. I really miss 16 year old me. I have to toss masturbation (pun intended) in there also, because you find out about that a lot earlier and I don’t know how it is for a girl but for a guy it’s like you just discovered something super important like plutonium or the cure for polio.
My first piece of shit car. Freedom, ’nuff said.
My first real job with a paycheck that required dealing with customers. This is about the time youthful idealism is squashed and you realize yes, the world is filled with assholes. Ross meet cynicism, cynicism meet Ross.
The first time I played D&D. I mean I was taking on the role of someone else. That is some profound shit for an 8 year old who had never played anything more complex than Monopoly before. Thus was born my lifelong love for games and almost all things gaming related.
Looking back on your life what would you consider the most life changing moment in it? Can you pick just one?
