What makes a sport manly? Most of the sports considered “manly” are violent or injury-inducing, but not all. Here we take a look at some popular sports, ranked from 24, most polite and least manly, to number 1, mega super grunty manly mannish.
Here are numbers 12 through 1:
- (12) American Football: Too many rules “for the safety of the players.” This used to be an amazingly manly sport, but the touch-back rule on kickoff moves this former macho haven into girly man territory. Best watched at the salon while you get a facial and mani-pedi.
- (11) Greco-Roman Wrestling (also known as “Hug Fighting”): Need I say more? Get a room, boys.
- (10) Soccer (what the rest of the world calls Football): Can’t use your hands, players like to fake injuries for no good reason.
- (9) Track and Field: All the running and jumping sports are girly. The field sports (shot put, discus, hammer, javelin) are hurly-burly.
- (8) Boxing: Training is beyond brutal, both in endurance and pain tolerance aspects. Sometimes the fights get a little huggy.
- (7) Ballroom Dance: Surprisingly manly. Anything that men do that attracts the ladies’ attention automatically gets a high rating.
- (6) Gymnastics: Lots of weight training, lots of bruises, skin ripped off your palms, broken bones and concussions when stunts go wrong. Not for sissies.
- (5) Rodeo: Bull riding is excessively manly. But only for the bull rider! Everyone else, girly girls, especially the rodeo clowns. Manly men don’t wear make up.
- (4) Hockey: Please skate on ice while trading punches with the opposing team. Watch out for a skate blade to the face! Lots of blood, lots of broken everything. Probably the manliest aerobic sport.
- (3) Mixed Martial Arts / Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: Please sprint sideways while trading punches with your opponent. Also, you must train by kicking a mature tree until it falls over. Have fun with that.
- (2) World’s Strongest Man Competition: Shouldn’t be ranked this high? OK, YOU go tell them.
- (1) Rugby: Like American football, but there’s no padding, fewer rules, fewer breaks, lots of blood and bruises and concussions. Ouchie!
So there you have it. Other sports were considered, but they did not make it into the top 24. See one that was missed? Disagree with the rankings? Put it in the comments, kids!
