Jarrod did a post about awful and annoying songs, which inspired bbqcornnuts to create a bad song contest. In the comments of that post, it became clear that there were some bad songs that we actually really liked, even though we acknowledged they were horrible. So bbqcornnuts and I came together to talk about those songs specifically, and here they are, some the bad songs we love.
bbqcornnuts
These are songs I like for a reason. It might not be a good reason.
Celine Dion – “My Heart Will Go On” – I am going to come right out and admit the worst. I still like “My Heart Will Go On.’ I know that I should be barred from operating music equipment for this. I was one of the people who got seriously sucked in by Titanic. I cannot explain this. It is my shame to bear. I still get a little twinge when she sings “You’re here; there’s nothing I fear” and I fully expect to be mocked by Crasstalkers for the rest of my days for this admission.
Hanson – “MmmBop” – I like this song for two reasons. First, it is House’s ringtone for his staff. Second, it was the basis for one of the best office pranks I was ever involved in. This happened about 13 years ago, when they were popular. A twenty-something woman in my office was on vacation. We plastered her cube with Hanson posters. We found a picture of her and scanned it in with a picture of the band and framed it as an autographed portrait. Her computer background was Hanson-related. We got her on their mailing list. It took her years to get off it. Best of all, we had a boss that was totally fine with it. It was the beginning of a prank war that continued for years.
Spin Doctors – “Two Princes” – I found this song on a bad song list by VH1. This song is a good memory from a bar in Buckhannon, WV where I remember being hit on by two good looking guys during the same night. I realize that this memory might be somewhat influenced by flaming Dr. Peppers but I am okay with that.
Europe – “The Final Countdown” – I love this song because it reminds me of Gob Bluth.
The Moody Blues – “Your Wildest Dreams” – I don’t know why I love this song but I do. My husband hates it and constantly mocks me.
Homoviper
Fatty Gets A Stylist – “Are You Ready?” – Bad Songs Used in Commercials – What can I say about this song? It’s catchy, it gets stuck in your head like any effective earworm does, and it’s…just awful. The lyrics sound like they were written on the fly by a stoned eighth grader. I’m not opposed to simplicity and repetition, but this song sets the bar very low, doesn’t it? Then there’s the music, which sounds like it’s one step above a canned commercial jingle, which is probably why New York Lottery decided to use it in their most recent ad campaign. I posted in an OT not so long ago that I went through the stages of grief over this song. It’s a bad song, yes, but I love it, and thanks to some of you, I don’t hate myself as much for it. It’s fun to sing, it’s fun to bop your head to, and as much as I resisted its simple charms, eventually I was powerless against them. Be careful, you could be next.
LaTour – “People Are Still Having Sex” – Bad Dance Songs – Do you remember this song? I think some of our readers are probably too young to remember when it played on the em tee vee. I remember it was scandalous that we convinced the loser DJ at our school dance to put this track on! ZOMG! Teenagers dancing to a song about secks! So, yeah, LaTour has a bunch of different projects, and one of his dance tracks was used in the sexxxy club scene in Basic Instinct, but he is probably best known for this song. His deep, movie trailer voice (he does or did voiceover work furrealz) is just so silly, and the things he’s actually saying (“This AIDS thing’s not working.” Uh, what?) only make matters worse. Add to that the fact that the song just sounds so dated now. What’s that you say? That’s just the nature of dance music? No, you’re wrong. The best dance music ages well, just like the best of any genre of music, and this track just sounds old. And yet! I love it! It’s so wonderfully cheesy, and I can chair dance to it. Also, I have to give LaTour major points for using a sample from Evil Dead 2.
Connie Stevens – “Sixteen Reasons” – Bad Old Timey Songs – I unashamedly love traditional pop music, and I certainly enjoy the “girl group” sound, whether we’re talking about earlier examples of it like The Andrews Sisters, or the girl group sound associated with late 1950s/1960s pop music (The Ronettes, The Shirelles, The Crystals, etc.) as well as singers like Connie Francis and Patti Page. At its best, this music showcases a singer’s and songwriter’s talents. At its worst, this music is no different than the sugary pop confections we love to hate today. “Sixteen Reasons” is definitely an example of the latter. Released on an album that tied in with Stevens’ role as Cricket Blake on the show Hawaiian Eye, “Sixteen Reasons” sounds like the late 1950s analogue of something from Britney Spears’ first album. The music is in the style of pop music from its era, and the lyrics are built from the most worn out cliches about young love. But it’s so damn catchy! David Lynch used it to great effect in a scene of Mulholland Drive. In that context the song makes sense, its saccharin qualities serving as an unnerving counterpoint to the dark undercurrent flowing through that scene (and the whole film). Yet, I still downloaded the track (it wasn’t on the film’s soundtrack, FYI) and have it in regular rotation when I’m listening to this style of music. I love that–for better or worse–it was lodged in David Lynch’s brain and found its way into Mulholland Drive.
Okay, Crassholes, you know what to do. What are some of the bad songs you love? Post them below.
