Yes my friends, you read that correctly. Yet another team challenge for our alleged designers, which means more yelling, bitching, and tears. Then we’ll get past the commercial for Lifetime’s next Very Important Movie of the week, and get to the show.
Speaking of the show, who have we got left? Well, it is the… fifth episode now? Sigh. Yes, the fifth episode, and I already forget everything about the previous four except there was something about stilts, and theoretically/potentially being able to see Nina Garcia’s nether regions. Now forget all that, and let’s discuss the sewtestants we still have hanging around, shall we?
Per the ladyparts network site, our sewtestants consist of the following;
Anthony Ryan, who I just realized reminds me of a poor man’s Aaron Paul. Like a really poor man’s Aaron Paul. This guy probably considers dumpster diving to be fine cuisine. Or maybe he looks nothing like Aaron Paul and I’ve now ruined any chance I ever had of marrying the guy. Which was none in the first place, so I’m moving on.
Anya, the Miss Universe Contestant who learned how to sew four months ago and it seems went to the Chairman Mao Sewing Institute and made Michael Kors clothes for 26 cents a week, which explains how she learned to sew so well so quickly.
Blecky, who is dripping with potential crazy, but so far has stayed in the seemingly normal range -for now. There will be tears tonight though, the teevee told me so.
Bert, who has gone from the Queen to the Queen Bitch in four short episodes. Oh Bert, please stop being an ass and put some damn effort forth this time.
Bryce, who, well, he’s Bryce and he irritates me for some reason, but I can’t really remember why.
Cecilia with a wicked case of I Don’t Give A Shititis, who was on the chopping block last week, and was saved, sending sweet although fashion-challenged Julie home. Then Ms. IDGAS-itis pranced into the room with the rest of the designers, and announced, “That sucks Julie got kicked out, because I’m not really interested in being here anymore”. You couldn’t have said that to the judges Ms. IDGAS? I’m sure Julie was pleased as punch after seeing that one.
Danielle, who might possibly be the most boring person on reality television, ever.
Joshua, who clearly owns stock in Cover Girl, and if he ever met RuPaul would likely be told to, “Turn it down a little”.
Kimberly, who designed the winning look last week, and really seems like she’s possibly the most normal person on the show. Let’s hope that changes.
Laura/Barbie. I really want to hate her, y’all. I really do – but she was so sweet last week! Let’s hope for another, “Are you guys speaking foreign” moment from her, because I just don’t want to like her.
Olivier from Ohio, he of the arbitrary accent, apparently passes out while running around a track for this week’s challenge. Mayhaps Olivier from Ohio enjoys the dramz? We can only speculate.
And last but least, Viktor the hisser (hissor?). Vicktor sucks, basically. That’s really all you’re getting out of me for that one.
SO, it appears the sewtestants are to design something having something to do with running around an indoor track, while working with another designer. This is going to end well, I can tell.
See you in the comments!
