Dancing With The Stars Season 13 Cast Announced Tonight

That creaking, clanking sound you hear is the drawbridge being lowered down over the moat of fire and damned right-wing souls, a drawbridge you can safely cross to enter the fantasy realm that is Dancing With The Stars.

At the end of tonight’s episode of “Bachelor Pad” (which is what, exactly? I’m afraid I’m a bit addled from spending too much time on the Lady Parts Network, and anything pad-related just sounds overly hygienic) Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke will reveal just who they’ve roped into putting on the sequins and heels, and whatever the ladies are wearing too.

If you care, if you dare, if you are Cher, click inside to read a list of who might be on the show.

Oh, you brave soul, you. According to “Extra,” this is the list of most likely contenders for the mirror ball trophy:

  • CNN host Nancy Grace
  • Former “The Hills” Kristin Cavallari
  • TV personality Ricki Lake
  • Singer Chynna Phillips
  • U.S. soccer goalie Hope Solo
  • Actor David Arquette
  • Kardashian clan member Rob Kardashian
  • Actor and reality TV star Ryan O’Neal
  • “All My Children” actor J.R. Martinez
  • Transgender advocate Chaz Bono

You know we are going to have a gay old time recapping this one, especially if Ryan O’Neal brings the crazy.

Image of Tom Bergeron via cinemablend.com

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