Forget everything that happened last night on that dance-a-two-step episode of SYTYCD. It was all just filler…no what we really care about is finally after a million seasons and more dancer sweat to fill all Gaterade Shill Bottles everywhere…our beloved Cat Deeley can finally say, “I’m Emmy nominated!” It’s about damn time.
Okay, now on with the show.
We’re speeding through this opening. ZOOOOMMMMM! Just what’s going on tonight? Cat comes out in a sparkly feather boa wrapped around her body and we’re thinking she’s going to do some ballroom dance for us, right? She has on the frilly costume…eh? Okay, so no. It’s just our trusty SYTYCD fashion styling creating yet another Deeley Disaster. If this were a hat the British would wear it. Cat announces that everyone will be dancing two numbers and we’re like yay! Now then…
We’re off to the judges introduction…there’s Nigel and Mary, and look there’s a (now Emmy nominated) ginger actor from a little television show no one watches. Just what is that little horrible show called? Sofia Vergara’s Speech Coach? Ed O’Neil’s Retirement Community? Eric Stonestreet’s Love Den? Sheesh. Okay, fine. It’s the very funny Modern Family. Well, we’re not sure we like television people on our dance shows…but wait, Jesse Tyler Ferguson is funny and fun! He’s ribald and measuring, and just a total joy to watch dole out mediocre criticism! Well, now, if you’re going to do it…than this is the way. After that little blast of sunshine we pan over and “oh, crap” an old sea witch with a mohawk is also sitting at the judge’s table in all her goth wear and finger rings. Perhaps she birthed Johnny Depp. Is she wearing skulls? Okay, maybe not. Sonya Tayeh…fantabulous. Excuse me while I roll my eyes spastically into my grave.
No waste of time introductory vignettes this week. Awesome.
Dancers: Sasha & Alexander
Dance Styles: Paso Doble, Jazz
Choreographers: Toni & Meredith, Tyce Diorio
Concepts: Paso Doble, Life
Music: That’s Life
Performance 1: Well, wow, I wasn’t expecting a female led Paso, and I think this is what we got here…but it was mesmerizing. Do I like the fact that they played so closely to Sasha’s masculinity…well, perhaps not. Why not put her in the skirt and let her be the cape? We know that she can do strong. Why not let her play it softer. Yes, it’s great that the choreography fit the dancer, but realistically will she always have that opportunity or will she have to dance a performance that has nothing to do with her personality in the real world? I’m thinking it’s the latter. Aside from that, it was a powerful performance.
Performance 2: Sensational piece. It hit all the right notes. It was jubilant and proficient. There were high notes and it was danced beautifully. These are consummate professionals. You don’t expect anything less.
Judges:
Nigel: Alexander, you kept up with Sasha. Sasha, you did brilliantly. I think Sasha may have carried you thus far, but this is the best you’ve danced, Alexander. You were both fabulous.
Mary: It was hot. Days are over where the girl is simply the cape. Sasha is so fearless. Alexander you had a breakthrough. It was really strong. There was a freedom and relaxed movement.
Sonya Boo!: Sasha you rock my socks. I’m all about strength in women YES, YES, WE KNOW, SONYA! Sheesh. Overall it was awesome. Tyce is phenomenal. Alexander you dove in and looked amazing. You killed it. Conviction and discipline…bring me eye of newt!
Jesse Tyler Ferguson: Sasha, you are such a pillar of strength. I thought it was brilliant. That’s life was my favorite number tonight.
Spirit Fingers: Nicely done. It was unique and well executed. That’s life was indeed the best of the night.
Dancers: Jordan & Tadd
Dance Styles: Contemporary, Broadway
Choreographers: Travis Wall, Spencer Liff
Concepts: Women who take advantage of weak men, Princess and Prince Charming
Music: Brotsjor, Olafur Arnalds, Out Tonight, Rent
Performance 1: Great extension from both of them, especially from B-Boy Tad. He is definitely one to keep an eye on. Jordan was just okay. It wasn’t anything too risky from her. We know her leg can go up there. We get that she has great leg extension…really this was Tad’s show.
Performance 2: Wasn’t expecting the 80’s hair band music…but okay. This is really not that good. From the music choice, to the costumes…and the simplistic dancing. I’m left thinking…Is this it?
Judges:
Nigel: We’re so happy she’s dead in this one. It was remarkable. Wow, terrific. Tremendous. In the second routine, I needed more quirk. It was just okay.
Mary: Style, movement, and technique. Tad, I’m not surprised that you danced like that. You demolished the whole thing. The second number just wasn’t strong enough. It was too much like cotton candy.
Sonya Boo!: I wish I could swear a lot. True artistry, true conviction. Technique. Unstoppable. (Then she becomes a bird and flies around the room.) About the second number, “I’m under whelmed. I didn’t see your abilities and I didn’t see your craft either. Stay out of my coven circle!”
Jesse Tyler Ferguson: Such a typical boy vs. vulture story. The guys are in this to win it. The second routine seemed like a grab bag of styles and culture. This wasn’t my favorite.
Spirit Fingers: Tad was the phenom in the first performance. Jordan was just okay. Tad was amazing. We’re going to forget that 80’s prince and princess thing existed.
Dancers: Ryan & Ricky
Dance Styles: Broadway, Cha-Cha
Choreographers: Spencer Liff, Louie Van Amstel
Concepts: Hollywood Glam, Cha-Cha
Music: Frank Sinatra, Tonight, Enrique Iglesias
Performance 1: Ryan actually looked more at home in this piece. Ricky didn’t seem as natural in the role. He was right in rehearsal…he is a bit too goofy to really pull off that suaveness. It did fall a bit flat at times. It was just okay, but it also seemed a bit tight and too constrained. It wasn’t as open as it needed to be.
Performance: 2 I’m worried about Ricky’s sex appeal because I don’t believe he has any. It was executed well, but there wasn’t much chemistry in this Cha-cha.
Judges:
Nigel: Not sure if this routine will make the connection. The Cha-Cha went well. I thought there was great style. Ryan, sometimes you were over doing it, and it was a bit sloppy.
Mary: I thought in the first thirty seconds it was great. It could have been lived a bit better. That was the fastest Cha-cha I’ve ever seen. The feet were sloppy. Ricky’s on the hot tamale train.
Sonya Boo!: “It wasn‘t your best,” says Ursula. Ricky, you were feeling it. Ryan it was a bit tense.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson: It was a bit muted. There was a bit of a glass ceiling and your ability didn’t reach the potential, but I think your cha-cha puts you on the hot tamale train. You’re great.
Spirit Fingers: Not enough style or challenge for this point in the competition. It was a tight cha-cha, but Ricky killed it, despite the lack of sexy from both.
Dancers: Caitlynn & Mitchell
Dance Styles: Hip Hop, Jazz
Choreographers: Christopher Scott, Travis Wall
Concepts: Children Abducted to Fight a Senseless War, 1970’s Rock and Roll
Music: Break the Chain, Lupe Fiasco, Piece of my Heart, Janis Joplin
Performance: The synchronization was off. It was very rudimentary hip hop. It wasn’t clean and powerful enough especially for the subject matter. It just wasn’t emotional enough and it didn’t tell a good story.
Performance 2: Music is very important and while we love Janis…she’s just not good to dance to. I can’t fathom a dance performance set to Janis. It looked a bit stilted and awkward. There really just wasn’t enough meat here yet again. These two could be in definite trouble.
Judges:
Nigel: I need to get more out of it. You need to get in front of a mirror. In the second performance, I could incriminate myself as a dirty old man, (WHAT? Ewww!) It was a terrific piece of entertainment.
Mary: There was a disconnect in the story. It wasn’t in unison. Very talented. The second performance was intense. There was tough stuff and it was done well.
Sonya Boo!:It wasn‘t together but you guys are amazing…caw, caw! It was hot, but I liked it. Sometimes it looks like work.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson: You dance with so much power. I didn’t see the message. Fantasic and something about forest fires. I don’t know. He rambled, we laughed. The end.
Spirit Fingers: A bit lost in translation. Nigel’s gross. This was just okay. Not amazing.
Dancers: Melanie & Marko
Dance Styles: The Tango, Contemporary
Choreographers: Louie Van Amstel, Dee Caspary
Concepts: The Tango, Couple Stepping Out of the Light
Music: Triptico GotanProject, Skin and Bones, David Roch
Performance:1 It starts off a little tight, and you can see that they‘re not as confident in this as they have been in other styles, and it looks like Melanie loses a few steps or two, but the tricks in this are spectacular, and could probably only be done by these two. The partnering is definitely there between them both. I had a little trouble with her dress…not sure if it was amazing or completely fug…either way I don’t think this style suited her.
Performance 2: Beautifully done. It was great, but of course it was. It was Melanie and Marko and their last dance together…they made it count. It really seemed to be the ending of something special.
Judges:
Nigel: That was tremendous. The final lift between the legs was sensational. Excited about breaking up the couples, except for you two. You are special. It flowed.
Mary: Different tangos and history, this is American style. Louie put it all in there. There were some awkward things. Some things were uncomfortable, but your final dance was a celebration.
Sonya Boo!: You make me lose your breath. It’s the conviction. When you falter I still trust you. It’s coming from your soul….which I plan to take, mu-hah-hah. You guys are timeless dancers. You are the future of dance. Please stay humble and stay true. Amazing.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson: Huge fans. You possess a spark and it’s something you can’t teach. You both have it for the rest of your lives. Very special dancers. Moth dance was brilliant.
Spirit Fingers: These kids are professionals. Will they be able to hold on to the magic when they’re apart?
Dancers: Clarice & Jess
Dance Styles: Lyrical Hip Hop, The Jive
Choreographers: Christopher Scott, Tony and Melanie
Concepts: Inside Beauty, Rock and Roll Jive
Musics: Just the Way You Are, Ain’t Nothing Wrong With That, Robert Randolph
Performance: A very sweet dance between these two, but something about Jess’ face was weird. It looked like he smelled something funny the whole routine, and the douche hat killed me, but it matched their personalities a good bit, except some of the b-boy moves did look awfully jazzy. I didn’t totally buy it. It was okay, but it was very twee, and very affected, and revealing the picture made me want to barf in my shirt, but okay, whatever.
Performance 2: The kicks and flicks were pretty good. Jess still has some problems with the lifts. All in all a decent Jive. Could have been better? Yes. But still a good showing.
Judges:
Nigel: Simply told and simply danced. There was a good grove. Stick with simple stories. Very good jive. A good kick. The lifts were still uncomfortable.
Mary: It was sweet. There was such a good message. There was pulse and swag that you produced. It was great. The jive did lose steam. The legs showed the joy, but Jess the joy didn’t show. Clarice, good leg action.
Sonya Boo!: You’re adorable. You slayed it. Adorable. Perfect. Amazing. “Come inside my gingerbread house my pretties…”
Jesse Tyler Ferguson: I loved it. I think we should married. You are such a light. Jess I think you’re awesome. I thought it was fantastic. I think you’re great for Broadway. Bestows love on Cat Deeley. You deserve to be recognized by the Emmys. HEAR, HEAR!
Spirit Fingers: The Hip Hop wasn’t bad…if you can get beyond Jess’ face. Sorry, but it just annoys me. Everything else was cute and they’re tiny, so yeah.
So everyone is splitting up next week and tonight the all stars will be announced. Finally, something to get excited about.
