New Jersey Passes Law to Protect Unemployed from Employers

The State of Employment: Too bad suckers! If you don’t have a job already, you’re never going to get one because employers only want the employable and the employable are already employed (but, like, they’ll settle for someone who got laid off on, like, Thursday at the earliest).

“I feel like I am being shunned by our entire society,” said Kelly Wiedemer, 45, an information technology operations analyst who said a recruiter had told her that despite her skill set she would be a “hard sell” because she had been out of work for more than six months.

Well, duh! Girl, do you know how many times a month technology has a major advance? Eight. You’ve missed 64 technological advances. No wonder you can’t get a job! Is this illegal? Do companies care? Of course not! But at least the nation’s most misunderstood state (New Jersey) has passed a law banning the advertisement of job openings that exclude the Irish unemployed. And the nation’s best states (New York and Michigan) are considering similar legislation. Now, normally we’d shun the word “consideration” because anyone can consider, but we don’t see you considering anything Maine.

They say that you’re unemployed for nine months these days, so you might as well just drop out of the labor force and get a sugar daddy. You’re not even fit to work at a Taco Bell.

You are going to be poor forever, dummy.

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