Daily Archives: July 8, 2011

13 posts

Michele Bachmann Will Take Your Pornos Away

Michele Bachmann, America’s Greatest President Ever, became the first Republican candidate to sign “The Marriage Vow,” some sort of insane blood-oath sponsored by a group of Iowa corn farming death cultists called FAMiLY Leader.

It seems that they stand for more than just nonsensical capitalization.

Many of the 14 points of the the Marriage Vow are typical inane hillbilly crap about not cheatin’ on yer wife and keepin them queers from marryin’. But a few of them are spectacularly batshit. Continue reading →

Why I’m Not Sad the Space Shuttle Program is Ending

I am a space geek.  A massive space geek.  In sixth grade, I saved up the money I got for delivering our HOA newsletter and bought a telescope, which I used to look at the moon every night, until my dad yelled at me to get off of the roof.  I talked my mom into pulling me out of class to drive 60 miles east to Mojave to watch the space shuttle land.  We were so far away that it was a white blur distorted by miles of heat coming off the desert floor, but I loved every second of it.  I ditched work to see SpaceShipOne take its two trips into space.  On Friday, weather permitting, the longest program in the short history of spaceflight is coming to a close.  Why am I not unhappy about that? Continue reading →