Reality TV is nothing without the epic battles that show the absolute worst of humanity. After all, as we all know, whether they’re Real Housewives or Top Chef wannabes, they’re not there to make friends.There have been some serious throwdowns in reality TV history, but while on some shows, cast members part after a year and seldom see each other again, no one knows how to relight the flames of feuds past like The Real World.
No matter what you credit with being the first reality show (and credit is generally given to the PBS series An American Family, featuring the Louds), no one has had the impact on the modern incarnation of the genre the way MTV’s The Real World has. Though it may have jumped the shark some time around pregnancy scare #12, or racial battle #4673, once upon a time, The Real World was the show that brought the world Pedro Zamora, an openly gay man with AIDS who passed away just hours after the San Francisco season finished airing, drawing national attention to the rapidly growing but still seldom discussed epidemic. Nowadays, its “celebrities” are more along the lines of The Hangover 2‘s Jamie Chung, but make no mistake, in its own way, The Real World really did matter.
Three years after The Real World began its run in 1992, MTV introduced Road Rules, a competition show that featured similarly attractive and troubled 18-to-25-year-olds traveling to exotic destinations to climb insane heights and eat ridiculous animal parts. Although unlike its predecessor it is no longer still airing, the combination of the two shows created one of the Most Important Shows of Our Time: The Real World/Road Rules Challenge.
The challenge has gone through numerous incarnations, including The Duel, The Gauntlet, and the incredibly boring The Island, but none have yielded the psychotic fight-filled potential of the season beginning tonight–The Challenge: Rivals. While last season’s Cutthroat disappointed many (including yours truly) with its array of unfamiliar faces, Rivals brings back every character you love to hate… and hate to love. If your favorite Challenger has gotten into a fistfight, been called a tramp, or been betrayed by a close friend, rest assured that not only will he or she appear in this season, but he or she will also be paired with whichever enemy most famously earned or received his or her wrath as they’re forced to work together to defeat the other teams of rivals.
Sure, not all of the rivalries would qualify as legendary, but to get in the spirit for tonight’s season premiere, let’s take a look at a few of the ones that do:
CT vs. Adam:
If CT (RW: Paris) and Adam (RW: Paris) were fighting against each other, this one would be a no-brainer; has there ever been a Challenger more frightening than CT, or a more terrifying fight than the time the two got into it on The Duel 2 and CT nearly took Adam’s face off in a ridiculous brawl that was somehow tangentially related to CT’s ex and fellow challenger, Diem (Fresh Meat)? (But come on, you totally loved those two as a couple, didn’t you?) As a pair, however, CT’s brawn and Adam’s speed may render them unstoppable… if they can manage not to get ejected for kicking each other’s asses in the first round.
Kenny vs. Wes:
Oh, the age-old “fighting over a lady” thing…. The beef between these two may have started offscreen, when Wes (RW: Austin), along with the rest of the world, saw Kenny (Fresh Meat) get together with his ex-girlfriend (fiancee, maybe?) Johanna (RW: Austin) on The Island, but although Kenny and Johanna barely lasted past the show and Wes eventually found temporary love with KellyAnne (RW: Sydney), the hatred between the two doesn’t seem to have simmered in the slightest. However, if there’s one thing these two have in common (besides banging Johanna), it’s their ability to manipulate absolutely anybody. With their powers combined, there might be no alliance they can’t master.
Paula vs. Ev:
Gather round, children, and I’ll tell you a tale… of the saddest betrayal ever to hit Challengetown. You see, Paula (RW: Key West) is not actually terrible athletic, but what Paula can do is play well with the boys who are. So no one thought she was more safe to go into the finale with BFFs Johnny Bananas (RW: Key West) and Kenny (Fresh Meat) than Paula herself, and when she and the boys had successfully manipulated the entire rest of the cast into getting them to the finale, all she had to do was sit and wait for her name to be called so she could join them in their boat. But the call never came, as the boys instead chose the considerably less fun but more athletic Ev as their fourth, locking Paula out of the $300,000 prize which–spoiler alert–Ev and the boys successfully claimed as their own.
Cara Maria vs. Laurel:
Although Cara Maria (Fresh Meat II) and Laurel (Fresh Meat II) are neither old nor faves, the two struck up a memorable rivalry, partly because Cara Maria was a symbol for just how far a relationship with the right person (in this case, RR: South Pacific‘s Abram) could take you even when you lacked athletic ability, and partly because it revealed just how ridiculously bitchy athletic powerhouse Laurel could be. Though the latter’s worst colors were shown when she railed against overweight Challenger Eric for being heavy, brawling with her teammate didn’t do her any favors, and it probably won’t help her out here.
For breakdowns on the rest of the rivalries, check out MTV.com’s Beef Charts.
The Challenge: Rivals airs Wednesdays at 10 PM EST on MTV. For listings, please contact yourself circa 1993.
All pictures and trailer from MTV.com.
