News? I got your news right here.
Let me tell you what is news. News is an innocent young woman (okay, middle-aged woman) showing up at a joyous Midtown Manhattan roof bar, with a lovely view of the Empire State Building, only find everyone touching her boobs and bum. That is the news. Despite that, she soldiers on to bring you the morning headlines.
- Shhhhhhh.
- Those Americans who actually know what the debt ceiling is are torn about it. Absolutely torn.
- It’s SWIPE-GATE! Or whatever.
- From the ‘no shit‘ school of reporting.
- Bite me!
I am going sleepytime now.
