Oh, sod it. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to rabbit on all day about Mideast freakouts and Arizona catching on fire and silly geese in Congress. I wanted to be a lumberjack. But it’s too late, because I am too old.
Anyhoo.
- This is not helping peace talks.
- Massive fires in Arizona.
- The death toll in Joplin, Missouri has risen to 141.
- Oil spill? What oil spill?
- The Republicans are currently opposed to taxes, therefore they have always been opposed to taxes.
- Pope Benedict, wearing Prada loafers, says you will get married and get knocked up and like it.
- In other Church news…
- Never tell a cop: “Go ahead…arrest me.” Especially if you are a drunk and screaming at people in an airport.
- My late grandmother may have enjoyed one too many Miller Lites on occasion, but I’m pretty sure she was never arrested for posession of meth.
- Nadal takes the French Open. Federer reported to be curled in the fetal position under some bar, clutching a bottle of flat champagne.
- The little guy wins one!
- Baseball gloves are like penises.
- How low can a network go and still win the Olympics?
- Roughing it is being forced to go to sleep without a mint on the pillow.
- Hot Massachusetts State Trooper (my home state has the hottest state police in the nation) saves adorable puppy post-tornado!
