So guys, I found the Long Island Serial Killer (or rather, he found me) over the weekend and then sicced him on furiously_red last night.
I’m on the dating site OKCupid and received a standard message on Friday from a guy saying he liked my profile, I was cute, etc. However, his screename was YankeesFan, which gave me pause as a) I am a diehard Mets fan and b) I find Yankees fans to be insufferable (present company excluded, of course. Except people who drive ’92 Buick LeSabres).
I didn’t answer him right away since that’s my schtick – I like to think about crafting my artful and witty response. Trust me when I say it’s working out brilliantly. He messages me again asking if I smoke, since I left it blank on my profile. (I do smoke but trying to quit, etc etc, wouldn’t smoke on a date etc, the box isn’t big enough to explain this, etc etc.) Okay, valid question. I still hadn’t replied.
I guess he had the paid version, since he could tell I looked at his profile. He then messages me again the same day, asking if I liked his profile. At this point, he’s officially Weird. I’ve also decided by now I’m probably not going to answer him. Although I am somewhat oddly flattered that he is “pursuing” me.
The next Saturday morning, I have a message saying “I guess you didn’t like my profile :)” By now, I’m telling my friends and saying “I should probably block this guy, right?” I laugh and forget about it, until the next day, Sunday, when I get not one, not two, but three messages throughout the day, including one giving me his phone number. The only thing I can think of is that he has some magical way of knowing when I read a message and he’s somehow not satisfied that I’m reading these messages and not answering him. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m officially being stalked in terms of OKCupid messages, and I should block him.
But I don’t. Last night I get one more message “You seem nice” and giving me his phone number yet again. I don’t know how I can seem nice since I never actually engaged in a conversation with him, but I digress. He is now blocked. However, furiously_red and I were discussing OKCupid guys last night and I showed her the profile of YankeesFan.
Five minutes later, he messaged her. Sorry furiously_red.
