Review: Lady Gaga’s Born This Way

Born This Way is NOT The Fame. For some of you, that’s the best news ever. For others, that the worst thing you’ve heard. And then there are those of you who don’t give a shit. Neither does Lady Gaga. Born This Way comes across as very Stick It To The Man, which is appropriate since the sound is very 80’s meets the modern beat machine. That is, when she’s not trying Stick It To The Church. So, let’s jump on our Gaga-cycles and head down the Unicorn Highway that is Born This Way.

We open the album with a ponderous wedding like pop march that quickly turns into “Marry the Night,” none of which reminds us of Muriel’s Wedding. It starts out strong, but gets rather repetitive rather quickly. I fully expect 10+ minute remixes. You’ve already heard “Born This Way,” and it’s been ruined by Glee, so we’ll leave that (btw, googling “put your paws up” leads to VERY few kitteh pictures. Just people making claws, and this. Don’t stare into his eyes too long.)

“Government Hooker” is rather amusing, especially with the deep voiced generic European sounding man telling you to get on the ground in a sexy Treasure Island sort of voice. However, it’s a song that’s best suited for being on E thus allowing me to make out with you, you, you and you, and your couch. “Judas” is old hat by now, and, yes, if you couldn’t figure this out, Lady Gaga is going through her “religious” phase, which will play out further in the album.

“Judas” moves us deeper into the Euro-trash section of the album, starting with “Americano,” a song that is destined to be compared to “Alejandro,” if only because it sounds “foreign” and “I think she’s singing in Spanish, but I can’t tell from the rhythmic clapping of the gypsy band.” She then sings to us, a fun on the first listen but entirely forgettable ode to her “Hair.” This is followed up by “Scheiße” (which the internets tell me is German for “shit”), which is again repetitive, but also why all your gay friends are currently twittering about not being able to speak German.

This leads us deeper into the heart of Lady Gaga’s Religious Madonna phase with “Bloody Mary,” a paean to Mary Magdalene, because if Gaga’s nothing else, she’s ahead of the curve. This is my favorite song on the album, though it suffers from the same “WTF was that bridge?” syndrome that Ms. Germanotta acquired while composing this album. We move on to a song called “Black Jesus – Amen Fashion.” I know I’ve listened to this one, more then once, but I can’t tell you anything about it. Even sneaking a listen right now, I hear something about her growing up in NYC . . . and that’s about it.

The last half of Born This Way moves as quickly away from the religious as the Gaga-cyle can take us, and goes into a straight on 80’s pop inspired genre, half of which are immediately dismissible. We start with “Bad Kids,” which was rather fun, followed by the (again) forgettable “Fashion of His Love.” I actually enjoyed “Highway Unicorn” (even with the stupid name, and no mention of unicorns in the song) for its pure camp value, but the song after it, “Heavy Metal Lover” sounds more or less the same. I’m still not sure where one ends and the other begins. This problem shows up, again, with “Electric Chapel”, “[The Queen and] You and I.” I know that they’re different songs, but again, post listening, there’s really nothing about them that jumps out and says “THIS!”

We end the album with “The Edge of Glory,” which, when it shows up on shuffle, is a great song. You probably know it from Lady Gaga singing from her Extreme! Camping set on American Idol, where she “made out” with one of her dancers (no, really. If you are gonna have a simulated sex scene, use a guy who doesn’t look like he’s gonna vomit as he gets closer to you la-la. This is one of the few things that Showgirls did well.) The problem is that it’s at the end of the album, and comes after 4-5 songs that sound just like it, so you’re soon skating the edge of just turning the damn song off. Which means you’ll miss the bridge. Which involves a sax solo that sounds like it was lifted straight from the traffic report in “We Built This City.” You think I’m kidding.

I’m not sure I can call this Gaga’s sophomore album, since I’m not really sure if we can consider The Fame Monster a separate album from The Fame. I will say that she really decided to do her own thing here. If you compare this to The Fame, which has a very polished pop sound, Born This Way takes more risks and is willing to fuck up. The problem is that when it does fall flat, it falls with a soft whoosh that just leaves you confused, instead of hitting you over the head with a giant plastic yonic egg. There is quite a bit that just feels unfinished. Many songs are highly repetitive, and have a bridge that comes out of nowhere and completely changes the feeling of the song.

That being said, there’s a few gems, as well as a few more guilty pleasures on this album. “Bloody Mary” is, right now, my favorite, though it took me a few listens to really like it. “Government Hooker” and “Highway Unicorn” stand out as not particularly great songs, but ones that are very enjoyable. I’m sure that plenty of Gaga fans have already bought the complete album, and know every lyric, but for the more casual fans and browsers, this seems like more a “buy the three songs I like from iTunes” sort of a thing. Especially since you’re probably already sick of “Born This Way” and “Judas.”