Monday Morning News Headlines

http://youtu.be/N3Hms3tCZXU

Oh, sure. Most of you are at the beach, dancing on the sand and drinking pina coladas and listening to the Beach Boys and feasting upon hot dogs and chips. But the news? The news never takes a vacation.  Even on Memorial Day.  

  • President Obama visited Joplin, Missouri — where he told a city it would rise again.
  • If you drop the price of heroin, you’ll be able to get them hooked for life!
  • I’m getting a kind of Dukakis-on-a-tank vibe here. Also: T-Paw!
  • How to make money on the slots.
  • If you’re a New Yorker overwhelmed with despair, the GWB is where it is at.
  • Have we all seen Anthony Weiner’s penis outline?
  • I thought pot was supposed to be relaxing. What the hell is wrong with people?
  • Some guys drove some cars real fast and someone got a prize for it.
  • Man, you’re looking good. Real good. Downright Tasty.

Remembering what this day is supposed to be about:

http://youtu.be/Ft749fC-1p4

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