Hello. My name is Misslinda and I am an Amazing Race addict. There, that felt better.
This season, The Amazing Race rounded up “team favorites” to race around the world a second time. And by “team favorites,” they mean teams that we all love (The Harlem Globetrotters, The Cowboys, and Mel and Mike) mixed with teams that make us want to throw things at the television (The Cheerleaders, The Deaf Boy And His Umbilical Cord, The “Couple” With Zero Sexual Chemistry, and The Worst Father Ever And His Subservient Daughter) plus a few teams nobody even remembers (A Father/Daughter Team, Some Guy And Some Girl, Some Nerdy Guys, and The Sisters Who Had To Pee In China).
The eleven teams started out in Palm Springs, California and were told that the first ones to reach the mat would get an “Express Pass.” The Express Pass allows a team to skip one task at any point in the race. This is a very valuable pass because every team finds themselves completely screwed by a task that they just can’t finish without killing each other.
The teams ended up on two flights to Australia—the Earlier Flight, and the Later Flight. The Earlier Flight was scheduled to land 90 minutes before the Later Flight which is, by TAR standards, a pretty decent lead. Unfortunately, a passenger on the Earlier Flight had a heart attack, which necessitated landing in Hawaii and refueling. The eight teams on the Earlier Flight did not take this turn of events well and lamented the loss of their lead. Only The Globetrotters said that the important thing was that the passenger got the medical attention he needed. These guys are all class. If I wasn’t already rooting for them to win, I’d switch teams.
So the Earlier Flight becomes the Later Flight, and the Later Flight (containing Some Guy And Some Girl, Father/Daughter, and The Sisters) catches a lucky break at the expense of a poor man’s heart. Way to go, Later Flight.
Once in Sydney, Australia, the teams navigated public transportation to an aquarium. At the aquarium, one team member had to scuba dive in a tank filled with sharks and stingrays to find a giant compass the size of a personal-sized pizza. This is the point in the race where I state, for the millionth time, that I could never be on The Amazing Race. I can’t swim, and I can’t drive, so my racing skills are rather limited. But kudos to all of these people for suiting up and diving into a tank filled with teeth and other stabby things.
All teams found the compasses, with The Cowboys and The “Couple” lagging a bit behind. The compass was like a secret decoder ring and the teams’ next task was to translate strings of nautical flags into a message that would give them their next clue. This did not seem like a difficult task—match the flag with the corresponding flag on the compass to spell out sentences. The only difficulty seemed to be that the sentences were really long, and there were three of them. So some teams were frustrated and impatient and followed other teams to the next checkpoint with only parts of the clue, only to have to go back and try it again. Some teams begged for information from competing teams, while others worked together to cut the decoding time in half. Still others were totally stumped.
Some Guys appear to be working with The Globetrotters. How do I know this? Some Guys were wearing t-shirts that said “Harlem Globetrotters” in big bold letters and helped the Globetrotters with the clue. Other teams just sort of bunched together, aimlessly helping whomever asked, without having printed corresponding t-shirts ahead of time.
The clue led the teams to something called a “skiff” which looked like a tiny, not-very-seaworthy sailboat. The team members had to dangle off of the sides of this floating contraption and grab the next clue from a buoy. The Cheerleaders’ skiff capsized, trapping them underneath, which gave me hope that this would turn into A Very Special Amazing Race. Unfortunately, no such luck. They are fine, just a bit soggy. But, it did jumpstart The Cheerleaders’ habit of berating, yelling at, and ordering around the locals who are there to help them, so there’s something.
In the end, Some Guy And Some Girl made it to the finish line first, earning them the coveted Express Pass. Then Phil yelled, “Surprise! I know you’re tired from an 18-hour flight, scuba diving with sharks, and balancing on a scrap of plastic attached to a sail on some very choppy waters, but you are still racing! So go! Move! GET OUT OF HERE!” and kicked them off of the mat.
The only team that didn’t make it to the mat was The Cowboys. They were confounded by the nautical flags and all tuckered out from running back and forth to check and see if they got it right. And, since all of the other teams had already moved on, there was nobody left to help them. They would have to help themselves, and boy, did they look helpless. The episode is “to be continued,” so we will have to wait an entire week to find out if they catch up, which may be how long it will take for them to figure out the clue.
So, what did you think of this episode? Which teams are you rooting for? How long until The Worst Father Ever loses his cool? Are you looking forward to another season of squicky bedroom talk from The “Couple”?
