Wall Street sighed a collective “meh” today following President Obama’s release of the FY 2011 Budget. The Dow closed down 5 points to end at 12,268. The NASDAQ gained 7 3/4 to end at 2,817 and the S&P 500 gained 3 to end at 1,332. Following yet another flat day of trading, some analysts wondered why they even bothered going into work with some going so far as proposing that pants be optional for floor traders.
Meanwhile in Washington, President Obama’s budget proposal was greeted with tepid hatred. Rep. Michelle Bachmann, who chairs the House Committee on Batshit Crazy, rambled about how it proved the President was a secret Muslim, citing the use of Arabic numbers as proof of her latest idiot theory. Meanwhile, freshman wingnut Rand Paul spoke for several Tea Party members while voicing complaints that the proposed budget didn’t do enough to establish complete anarchy.
In entertainment news, Glenn Beck used his radio program to complain that Esperanza Spalding is the vanguard on a jazz-based attack on American liberties aimed at creating a post-modernist bebop caliphate in the United States. He then blamed her and Neil Young for making Christina Aguilera botch the lyrics to “Baby.” When reminded that “Baby” is by Justin Bieber, Beck went on a 30 minute stream of consciousness tangent linking Canada to the decrease in playing time of folk-rock albums, ezplained by increased sunspot activity and fluorine in the water supply.
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