Where do you go when all the backyard BBQs, childrens’ birthday parties, and swim meets have come to an end and but you don’t yet want to go home? You’re driving around aimlessly in your minivan strewn with cereal, blasting Faithfully, looking for a last bit of fun before heading to your den of broken dreams. Too old to be at Club Skankonia where the 20-somethings are doing lines off each other in the VIP room and too old to just go home and go to sleep without sex (again). If it’s after 10:00pm, has Applebee’s got an answer for you! Welcome, to Club Applebee’s!
As Business Insider has highlighted for us today, your “Neighborhood Bar and Grill” is taking on a new identity in the 10pm-2am hours that is more like your “Unfulfilled College Dreams and Nightmares” (depending on your perspective). Chicks making out with each other while dancing over Steak Quesadilla Towers. Football jersey-wearing dudebros playing beer pong and noshing on the Sizzling Chicken Fundido. You too can be a cougar sipping on a Applebee’s Bahama Mamma. A DJ on the ones and twos spinning your favorite radio versions of Top 40 songs. Club Applebee’s is going to be HAWT. Next stop, Suburban Swingerville.
See photos of the end of the world here. Word on the street is that Honey Boo Boo and family will be making stops as part of TLC’s Sideshow Circus Tour, so be sure to check with your local Applebee’s for dates!
