If there’s anything I love more than uninformed veterinary advice and xoJane, it’s uninformed veterinary advice on xoJane. In “I Think My Dog Gave Me Ringworm,” Helena Andrews thinks her dog gave her…no, actually, she imagines her ringworm-infected dog could possibly give it to her. I’m serious: “I now believe my eczema is ringworm because my vet said so — sorta.” Oh boy. Anyway, this post, and the comments, are a goldmine of bullshit advice.
“Dr. Vet said I have to wash my hands after any contact with Miles,” she writes. Sounds about right. Go on. “Currently I’m Googling every natural method besides washing with soap to prevent me from getting ringworm from Miles, which according to webMd [sic] is pretty hard to do, but still. I’m taking no chances.”
God. Bless. It. What’s wrong with washing with soap? Why are anti-fungals worse than a natural method, when there isn’t a natural method to treat ringworm? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS YOU JUST SAID YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE RINGWORM.
First off, I am apparently the only person in the Internet Feminism Universe who’s wondering how a patch of ringworm this large went unnoticed on that solid black pug, but fine. A few actual facts about ringworm: It’s not a worm, it’s a fungal infection in the tinea family, related to things like athlete’s foot and jock itch.
It’s a zoonotic disease, meaning it can be passed from animals to humans, but only through direct contact or contact with contaminated items. It’s important to clean your home if a pet has been diagnosed with ringworm, but it is harder to contract if you’re vigilant and fairly easy to treat if you do get it. In addition, not every person or animal that comes into contact with the spores will develop the infection.
The commenters this total overreaction has brought out definitely have WebMD as their first bookmark, xoJane as their second, but very obviously not Wikipedia even in the top five. And the concern, oh, the concern! (“He doesn’t want a sick owner, get it checked out if you can!”) It’s a superficial fungal infection, NOT MARBURG, YOU HYPOCHONDRIACS.
One helpful Internaut urges simply, “Go to a doctor!” For imaginary ringworm? If that doctor is a psychologist.
Another is petrified of getting earmites from her cat. I do not know how that could even happen.
There’s a commenter who thinks she got ringworm from the cat who lives at her bodega! (EN says: guys, don’t touch random bodega cats, please.)
One had mysterious red splotches for a year that weren’t itchy or scaly (not ringworm), diagnosed herself (with ringworm, but it probably wasn’t ringworm), got Tinactin and boom! Something (not ringworm) GONE.
Another recommends colloidal silver, the stuff that HAS silver in it, of course; that is spectacularly not going to treat fungal infections, but is going to make you sick.
Another shares a sad story about chasing her parasite-riddled cat off her bed because she was afraid of getting worms. Unless the bed was the site of human-feline analingus, that’s some cold shit to do. Also, ringworm, again, IS NOT A WORM.
You know what does kill ringworm? Bleach. Let’s all rid ourselves of ringworm with a vigorous brain bleaching.
