The Hollywood Caller: Keith Olbermann, Even Hated by Hippies

Well, it was probably only a matter of time before Olbermann’s head truly exploded; the 1980’s don’t want any of these guys back; NBC, you guys just never learn; Winslet has jokes; and Channing Tatum will steal your soul.

We should probably just call Keith Olbermann an ulcer wrapped in a blood pressure cuff and shoved onto a folding chair at an anger management meeting. The tantrum spewing former sportscaster has been ousted from CurrentTV for what we can only imagine has something to do with diva antics, backstage meltdowns, throwing pickles at employees, and screaming about Alec Baldwin’s hair stylist. No, okay. Those last couple of things probably didn’t happen, but whatever the reason, Internet inventor, Al Gore and his partner, Joel Hyatt, have decided to fire the fiery host known for his dramatic, explosive rage polyps on national teevee. They’ve made no official statement as to why Olbermann will now be replaced with Eliot Spitzer who’ll have his own show called, “My Time With Hoes: Watch Me Shag With My Socks On.” Okay, no. It’ll be called “Viewpoint with Eliot Spitzer.” Naturally, Olbermann, not one to go slinking off into the good night, plans to sue, and claims the real truth about Gore and Hyatt will come out. Cue twirling mustache gif. Anyway, good to see Olbermann taking this in stride, right? HA! There’s a Worst Person in the World joke here. [THR 1 and 2]

What’s sadder Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito making a sequel to their movie Twins, called Triplets, or that Eddie Murphy is being courted to play the third sibling in this movie about genetic engineering? Dear lord. I’m going to go with dragging Murphy out from under his A Thousand Words movie coffin, dusting him off, just to put him back into a mausoleum to rattle around as ghosts of former movie stars with Schwarzenegger and DeVito. Who the hell is thinking up these crazy things? I imagine Schwarzenegger and DeVito in a haze of cigar smoke and booze thought this would be a great idea. You know, capitalizing on all the fans that just couldn’t get enough of these guys. I’m thinking that’s one guy who frequents dinner theatres in walking distance to the local retirement village. So that’s that. Obviously Eddie Murphy has entered his pension plan days of acting. Prepare to be underwhelmed and disgusted at what passes for the career of this once prolific comedian. [THR]

NBC the great thinkbox of US television is reaching deep down into their original well of ideas and pulling out — a non-original idea. They’re doing a network series based upon Hannibal Lector, called what else? Hannibal. Oh, joy! Nothing will go wrong with this at all! This will be just like the time NBC decided to lift their pantyhose and a television series for the movie, The Firm was born. Yup, The Firm about conniving lawyers and mystery and whatnot. That thing soared in the ratings. Nope, not even a little bit. So now with Hannibal, they’re doing things differently you see. Differently meaning getting a real movie director to helm this piece of garbage fun. David Slade, the director of the scintillating The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, award winning crap heap of vampire performance art, will be on hand to make Hannibal something like a blinking, neurotic mess of things. Those fava beans will probably now have glitter on ’em. [EW]

Haha. Kate Winslet says Celine Dion’s career defining song, “My Heart Will Go On” makes her want to puke. And to that we say, “Puke nothing but egg salad in olive brine.” Yeah, that song sucks. [Vulture]

Josh Hartnet so hates Channing Tatum right now. Remember when he was the new hot guy? When he was rubbing flower petals on girls to make them oohhh, ahhh? Well, now this guy can barely get repped in Hollywood. We liked him in Pearl Harburzz, Black Hawk Dowrzzess, and 30 Days of Nightnaps, right? Right? I mean, all you had to do in the late 1990’s was be hunky and squinty, full of rage and icy glares, and you were in. Well, not so now. Well, sure that’s the epitome of Channing Tatum, but still Hartnet is only 33. Surely, he’ll find an agency. Here’s to hoping! [Deadline]

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