The Walking Dead Recap: The Human Condition

So we made it through the first half of the season where we spent an inordinate amount of time looking for and grousing about long lost Sophia, whom by the end of it, many a viewer never wanted to see again, frankly. But there we were, in the climatic ending to the Fall finale and finally, (Dear God, FINALLY!) we got an answer to where the hell that little zombie chum wandered off to — and it was straight into the jaws of a zombie, that’s where.

We saw her come shambling out of the zombie barn jamboree where Hershel had most of the town doing some sort of undead jig before Shane went batshit, nutterball, crazy cracker-jacks and decided to make Hershel’s Barn Walkers target practice. Yet, Shane, for all his bravado and grandstanding, couldn’t do the one thing that made the most sense, especially given his grandiose speech about the “World being a changed place where men have to do bad things,” and shoot Sophia in the head. Rick took care of that.

We open with Rick lowering the gun he used to put Sophia out of her what — misery? undeadness? boring as all hell plot arc? — with a look on his face of neither satisfaction nor remorse and the wails of Sophia’s mother, Carol, in the distance. One of Hershel’s, almost random at this point, family members remembered that one of the undead meat sacks lying on the ground was actually “Mama” and ran over to her. Like a scene out of the most predictable horror movie you’ve ever seen, which would be all of them, “Mama Walker” lurched forward with jaws snapping and tried to grab hold of her daughter. Uh-oh, Shane. You missed one! No worries, T-Dawg comes over and kicks the thing in the head a few times, proving that he’s still necessary on the show! And as we know, that’s not enough to do the trick, (See, Hersh, those fuckers take a lot to die) Andrea comes in with a spiked farm tool and stakes the thing in the head. (Zombie kills: 1)

Well, okay. That’s all well and good. Sophia, dead. Zombie, impaled. We’ve got a bit of action going, how about we keep up the momentum, guys? Nope. Now we’ve got to talk about it. Yes, surely. We now need to lament everything that’s just happened. Did Hershel know Sophia was in the barn? Shane seems sure that he did. I believe Hershel did not. I don’t think Hershel wanted to think or know too much about what was happening in the barn. You see, he thought he was existing in some sort of utopia where the good would be rewarded, the sick would be cured, and all the dirty work would be handled by those like good old Otis. He probably didn’t ask for status reports or updates. He wanted the peace that came with being largely detached from the real world and blissfully unaware of the doings of the undead inhabitants milling around. Faced with that reality, his world shattered, now he wants the person who threw the rock through his mirage to leave the farm and that would be at minimum Shane. The fate of the rest is still up in the air.

With the death of Sophia we see how the rest of the Grimes group takes it. Carl tells Lori in that plaintive way children sometimes have, yet with an adult sensibility they shouldn’t, that he would have also put a bullet through Sophia’s head. Even at this age, Carl understands the notion of survival, and that Sophia was no longer a girl on this journey with him. Glen and Maggie have some sort of odd conversation about feelings and lurve and stars in your eyes, and goo-goo mush, that makes no sense since they’re largely complete strangers thrown together in the worst circumstances. Carol decides to mourn the child that died days ago and not the thing that came out of that barn, because as she says, “That’s not my little girl. It’s some other thing. She didn’t cry herself to sleep. She didn’t go hungry. Sophia died a long time ago.” She doesn’t want to attend the makeshift funeral for her because they’re not burying a person. Fine. Great, Carol. So glad you get that now, but we could have told you that five episodes ago! Sophia = Zombie Casserole, end of story. Lastly, Andrea and T-Dawg, who haven’t had a real use in about three episodes, just decide to take on clean up duty. Sure, yes, that’s a job you volunteer for. “Hey, let’s just load up this truck with fetid, oozy, zombie-goo body parts and haul these things off to the local fire pit. Wing or thigh? Oops, sorry, I mean, let’s say a prayer and respect our dead.”

While the rest of the team quietly cheers that the Sophia saga has ended, Shane and Dale have yet another stare down. Dale knows what kind of man Shane is and Shane knows it, but Shane has decided that you either have to be that man or you die, and to illustrate that point he asks Dale a very good question. “What do you do other than fix RVs?” Yes, truly, what is Dale’s purpose now? Is he the moral compass? No, that’s Rick. Is he the brawn? No, that’s T-Dawg and Daryl. What about the guy who has to make the hard decisions for the group, and the other side of Rick’s coin? Nope, that’s Shane. So, uh, Dale, yeah, what do you do? He’s Judgy McJudgerNag! Yeah, okay, no one will get tired of that shit soon. Even Lori has a hard time believing Dale’s tale about what really happened between Shane and Otis on that run to the school. Watch your back Dale.

Back at the house, Hershel’s daughter WHO WE NEVER SAW BEFORE collapses into a fit of boredom, uh, shock, and can’t be revived. It’s some sort of catatonic fever, since that’s what the brain trusts at the Hershel farm have deduced. Only when everyone goes to alert Hershel for his help do they find that he’s left the farm for parts unknown. However he left a clue! A mystery flask Scooby Doo! Yes, to the layman a flask means liquor and liquor means a bar and a bar means a bar in town! Uh, really? Why did this not mean Hershel with a bottle of Jack in the tool shed? Whatever, onward into town! It totally makes sense that Hershel would get up and drive into potentially zombie infested town to have a drink at some old, looted bar full of zombie rot and despair. This is exactly where you’d go when your world has just turned on its axis during a zombie apocalypse. Staying holed up in relative safety amongst family and suddenly appearing daughters makes absolutely no sense.

Ever the Boy Scout, Rick decides to go rescue Hershel from the stupid zombie bar, and Glen volunteers to ride along Yeoman Johnson style. When they find him, Old Hersh has had an epiphany. He now understands that zombies are dead people. Head. Wall. Just what did you think they were, some Olympic Track Team? Yes, Hershel is so sorry he didn’t believe anyone, everyone, about the zombies are ambulatory maggot food thing, and on top of that he’s like, “Holy Shit! There’s no hope! None at all. We’re all gonna die!” How Rick didn’t go all Moonstruck on Hershel and give him a big heaping bowl full of Snap Out Of It is beyond me. They argue for a bit. Rick tells Hershel that his Mysterious Daughter has Catatonic Fever and he needs to come home.

At the farm, Lori is starting to get worried. H’sMD with her diagnosed CF is starting to get worse, so Lori decides selfishly to ask Daryl to go and fetch them, because everyone is a run-and-fetch-it in Lori’s world. Daryl, who had the best zinger of the night, says “Listen to me, Olive Oyl. I was out there looking for that girl every single day. I’m done looking for people.” Olive Oyl? What?! I have no idea, but that was awesome. Lori hearing this thought it was some sort of challenge and decides to go herself, and because Lori is a woman on this show, and therefore useless, drives while reading a map, gets distracted, doesn’t see a Walker in her path, hits him with her car, and then drives off the road. Fantastic. (Zombie kills: Still 1. We have no idea if this one’s dead.)

Just as Rick’s making some headway with Hershel in walks Rene Lenier from True Blood. Ho, boy. This won’t end well. The minute he appeared on screen I knew shit was about to get interesting. He walks in with a blubbery friend named Tony (Philadelphia Cream Cheese) in tow like this was a saloon from an old Western. He sits down and he, Rick, and Hershel start talking amicably. They joke about the Georgia heat. His name is Dave and he tells everyone that one of the feared last holdouts, Fort Benning, is rumored to be overrun with “lamebrains” as he calls the walkers. They share a drink, Dave and Rick both flash their respective guns. Then Dave, curiously, asks where Rick and his crew have been staying. Not in their cars. No gear. He runs down a list of possibilities, but figures out that it’s probably a farm.

Rick doesn’t confirm or deny. Dave, still pouring on the charm, tries to appeal to that pesky boy scout nature of Rick’s and inquires if they have room for more. Apparently, Rick and his crew stink of food, shelter, and clean water. This is more priceless than gold. Rick senses the desperation, he refuses, and at some point reveals that he’s a cop. This doesn’t faze Dave. He’s trying to keep this conversation real friendly-like. Except he should have left big mouth Philadelphia Cream Cheese back at their camp. Philadelphia Cream Cheese pisses on the floor, and talks about finding a little female action if you know what he means. (eye wiggle, ew) Rick is now rapidly tiring of this conversation. He maintains that the farm is too full and suggests the newcomers be on their way. We also see Rick’s wheels start turning. Philadelphia Cream Cheese, though, he’s getting antsy, and when Rick shuts him down again, he mentions just killing everybody and taking the farm. And there we have it. The thing we’ve all been thinking since these two entered the bar, and hell, since Rick and his group came upon the farm themselves.

Dave pish-poshes this notion from his friend, since in this scenario he’s playing the good cop to Philly’s bad cop. He deftly leaps behind the bar to pour another drink and announces that “Nobody’s killing anybody.” He does, however, want to know where Rick thinks they should go if not the farm. Rick responds, “I hear Nebraska’s nice.” In a split second, Dave goes for his gun but Rick is faster, he draws and fires one into Dave and a couple more into Philadelphia Cream Cheese, putting them both down. Rick was primed for this probably from the time the interlopers walked through the door. He gives Hershel a look that says 1) Imagine if I wasn’t here 2) There could be more 3) You need me.

Now more than ever we are aware that The Walking Dead is more about the human interaction than the zombie one. Zombies are just brain-dead monsters. Humans are the ones who can think, make decisions, react to the outcome of each situation, and follow-through with an evolving sense of right and wrong. It was just a matter of time until this was all tested. Sure, the show is priding itself on its slow-burn, and it did much of that through the continued discussion about Sophia, but the addition of new characters and challenges was enthralling for those final moments. Yes, it would have been interesting had they kept Dave and Philadelphia Cream Cheese around to build tension and suspense and not just put their intent out there so soon, but for once this season we’re seeing the end result of a decision that didn’t take seven episodes to resolve. Those dudes needed to be made dead immediately. This is how you make things work for television, as opposed to a purely cinematic style the show can no longer afford if it wants to be successful.

What did you think? Slow-burn pay off, or a waste?

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