Somebody really believes in the temple that is John Stamotopoulos, or as we know him, John Stamos, AKA Uncle Jesse. This Fall he will star in his now third television series since he last uttered the words “Have Mercy.” Good God. “Have Mercy?” This was a thing? Ok, yes, this was a thing. Somewhere a diehard fan with a trunk full of Tiger Beat magazines just marked Fall 2012 as the best television season ever.
Fox will pit Stamos in a multicamera comedy against comedian T.J. Miller who’ll play his brother and an ex-con. Hiyo! This seems like it will be full of hilarity and probably jokes from 1997. Whatever! John Stamos, who still has the hair of a Greek God and the level of popularity saved mostly for the Rob Lowes and Jerry O’Connells of the world, will probably do that thing that he does that makes us say, “Why is John Stamos making that face? Did craft services serve black bean and hummus wraps? Oh! That’s his smolder face. Great. Thanks. Noted.” No, seriously, this will probably be a big hit.
The little networks that could, the CW and Fox, which have actually become juggernauts in their own right, have decided that for the upcoming season shows about spies, bloggers, nannies, and hospital employees will rake in viewers like never before. Joing in those juggernaut ranks are a new crop of screen actors turned aspiring television stars. Donald Sutherland, Kevin Bacon, and Ali Larter will all be starring in their own series this fall. Yes, I know I included Ali Larter on this list as much as it pained me.
In addition, the CW in its usually pubescent wisdom has decided to re-launch Beauty and the Beast loosely based on the CBS show from the 1980’s, because that show really sucked and didn’t have legions of devoted fans that would lose their epic shit if someone recorded over their videotape of every single episode from the start of its airing. (Sorry Aunt Susan!) This sounds like a brilliant idea. Let’s remake something that was a mainstay in television awesomensess (according to Aunt Susan) even though one of the main characters lived in a sewer world beneath a metropolis and the heroine fell in love with a supernatural being who had a wacky but altruistic set of principles. Who can we say knows anything about that? How about Kristin Kreuk who spent much of her onscreen acting as Lana Lang pining away for Superman in the CW’s Smallville? In a bit of casting genius or boredom Kreuk will become the CW’s Linda Hamilton. Good Luck, girlfriend! What could go wrong? If nothing else, it’s nice to see that she’s moved on to a much more tangible love affair that won’t drag on for nine seasons. Right? No.
The CW is also hoping to hit high marks with The Carrie Diaries the long rumored story of a young Carrie Bradshaw making her way through the 1980’s where we suspect there will be lots of crispy bangs, spandex, and “Totally Tubular! Like Rad!” commentary, or it’ll be Gossip Girl but with more pastel. Either way it could be risky. Do young women in the target demographic still care this much about Carrie Bradshaw? I’m thinking the time for this show may have come and gone and another Sex and the City spin-off/sequel will feel a bit stale.
Fox, while it has a habit of sticking by their shows, and not sending them off to the cancellation wood chipper after two bad showings in the ratings, seems to be putting a lot of stock in shows this fall that could become tired a few episodes in and after the joke or quirky nuance is unveiled. It may be a miscalculation to rest the meat of the series on keeping the novelty going. For instance, how long will we care that a young executive’s dad is a disruptive office clown after he hires him into an entry-level position? Two episodes? Maybe three? This really seems like one episode’s worth of lackluster laughs. Mindy Kaling could find herself in the same (cough, Whitney Cummings, Chelsea Handler) boat if she’s not careful.
The CW and Fox have had success by really understanding their audience.
Let’s see if they still seem to get it. Here is the list of pilots.
CW
DRAMA
Arrow
Based on the DC Comics title, published by DC Entertainment, this hourlong drama is a modern retelling of the legendary DC Comics character Green Arrow.
Cast: Stephen Amell, David Ramsey, Susanna Thompson, Katie Cassidy, Willa Holland
Beauty and the Beast
Loosely based on CBS’ Beauty and the Beast series from the 1980s, this is a modern-day romantic love story with a procedural twist.
Cast: Kristin Kreuk, Austin Basis
The Carrie Diaries
Based on the novel by Candace Bushnell, a young Carrie Bradshaw comes of age in the 1980s, asking her first questions about love, sex, friendship and family while exploring the worlds of high school and Manhattan.
Cast: Stefania Owen
Cult
An inquisitive, young female production assistant on a wildly popular television show joins a journalist blogger in investigating the show’s rabid fans. Together, the duo finds the fans might be recreating crime scenes from the show in their real lives — behavior that has lead to a rash of disappearances and a likely murder.
Cast: Jessica Lucas, Alona Tal
First Cut
Glad to leave her nerdy past behind for a fresh start in the adult professional world, a newly minted doctor discovers that, sadly and comically, life at the hospital where she works is no different than high school.
Joey Dakota
Based on the Israeli format Danny Hollywood. In this romantic-time-travel-musical, a documentary filmmaker travels back in time to the 1990’s where she meets and falls in love with the rock star subject of her film. When she unexpectedly returns to present day, she must find her way back to the past to reunite with her love and prevent his untimely death.
Shelter
Drama set at an historic New England summer resort where the new and returning staff attend to the practical, emotional and often comical needs of the guests while navigating friendships, rivalries and romances of their own.
The Selection
Based on the forthcoming series of books by Kiera Cass, The Selection is an epic romance set 300 years in the future which centers on a poor young woman who is chosen by lottery to participate in a competition to become the next queen of a war-torn nation at a crossroads.
FOX
COMEDY
Ben Fox Is My Manny
A single mother gets an assist from her brother who moves in with her to help her raise her baby. The title character is a heightened version of Fox’s brother, Ben Fox.
Cast: Maggie Jones, Echo Kellum
Format: Single-camera
El Jefe (aka The Boss)
Tossed out of his Brentwood home, an affable but lost 30-year-old guy moves in with his longtime Latin American nanny and goes head to head with her strong-willed son and finds himself in a family and work life very different than the ones he grew up in.
Cast: Ryan Hansen
Format: Single-camera
The Goodwin Games
High-concept family comedy about a father who leaves his fortune to his three children — only if they agree to his terms.
Cast: Becki Newton
Format: Single-camera
Let It Go
Ensemble comedy about a married couple, his best friend and her sister as they try to navigate, negotiate and sometimes manipulate society’s unspoken rules.
Cast: Zachary Levi
Format: Single-camera
Like Father
Comedy centering on a father-son relationship, inspired by Lawrence’s real-life experience.
Cast: Colin Ferguson
Format: Single-camera
Little Brother
A man learns he has a half-brother who happens to be an ex-con.
Cast: John Stamos, T.J. Miller, Rosa Salazar, Gillian Vigman, Izabela Vidovic
Format: Multicamera
Living Loaded
A partying blogger is forced to change career plans when he becomes a radio host.
Cast: Donald Sutherland, Mike Vogel (second position to Pan Am), Michael Marc Friedman
Format: Single-camera
Must Hire
An uptight, young executive hires his dad for an entry-level position and is shocked to discover that his new hire is a disruptive office clown.
Format: Single-camera
Prodigy Bully
Based on the one-minute movies by Hank Perlman, a young boy genius uses his brains and brawn to get what ever he wants.
Cast: Mike O’Malley
Format: Single-camera
Rebounding
An uplifting comedy about a man recovering from the death of his fiancé with the help of the idiots on his pickup basketball team.
Cast: Malcolm Barrett, Hayes MacArthur
Format: Single-camera
Untitled Mindy Kaling comedy
A young Bridget Jones-type doctor tries to navigate her personal and professional lives.
Cast: Mindy Kaling, Ed Weeks
Format: Single-camera
DRAMA
The Asset
Spy drama that revolves around a female agent set in the New York office of the CIA.
Cast: Ali Larter
Guilty
Centers on a smart and ethically questionable defense attorney who uses his unique methods to solve cases he’s been banned from handling after he’s stripped of his license to practice law after being falsely convicted of fraud.
Untitled Karyn Usher project
The orphaned 17-year-old daughter of a CIA operative encounters a mysterious rogue agent/assassin who serves as both her surrogate father and professional mentor in the spy world.
Untitled Kevin Williamson serial killer drama
A thriller revolving around a diabolical serial killer who uses technology to create a cult of serial killers and the FBI agent who finds himself in the middle of it.
Cast: Kevin Bacon, James Purefoy, Shawn Ashmore, Valorie Curry
Untitled Josh Berman medical drama
A young female thoracic surgeon who becomes indebted to the South Chicago mafia is forced to moonlight as a “mob doctor” while also working full-time at Chicago’s most prominent hospital.
Image: Source
