Calling in from remote outposts, darlings. How is Earth going? Canucks still on track for Lord Stanley’s Cup? O’Bamas still spreading universal cheer? Excellent! I even hear Kim Kardashian is trying to heal white supremacy wounds by getting engaged to yet another K and being all “mixed race babehs are teh best” and good for her.
And so to our Armenian/American gossip links of the day:
Operation Global Media Domination: the Craigslist Situation. I haz a famus! I haz a famus! Now, where’s my goddam book deal? (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Royals in Skivvies Edition. Nice underoos there, Prince Hot Ginge (Ayyyy)
Rack On! This dress is a lovely cut, and I intend to cut a rug in it very soon. (ManoloFood)
Stephen Harper vs Barack Obama, it’s 1812 The Rematch! (Crasstalk)
Pauly Shore needs your help! Well, Pauly Shore needs help; we all knew that! (AgentBedhead)
Closer. Coffee is for Closer? I’d pay to see NIN score the rock opera Glengarry Glen Ross! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Happy Birthday to the most beautiful child in the universe. Well, since I was little. And not counting Johnny Depp’s two. Still, Mazel Tov, Shiloh! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
RIP Jeff Conaway. Naturally this includes a quote from the rehab doc who failed to help him. (CelebritySmack)
Are YOU spongeworthy? Enter this giveaway and find out! (CelebVIPLounge)
Mindless summer fun is the BESTEST summer fun! And the slip ‘n slide adds a whole new dimension of fun to swinger parties. (CityRag)
Danica Patrick gets a real job! Instead of modeling for cheesy advertising shoots to feed and clothe herself. You go, girl! (DailyStab)
Amy Winehouse says Yes, Yes, Yes! Yes, it’s a cheap joke, but she earned it. (EarSucker)
Lindsay Lohan makes her money lying down. As we all suspected would happen sooner or later. (FitFabCeleb)
Fifteen celebs wearing pearl necklaces. You already clicked this, didn’t you, you dirty-minded bastard? (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Lady Gaga doing an awesome impression of Marylou Whitney as a rubber fetish stripper. No, really. Must be seen to be believed. (HaveUHeard)
Sarah Jessica Parker news: I know how she does it: PHOTOSHOP! (HollywoodHiccups)
ZOMG JLO SEX TAPE!!!! Why am I still typing, you’ve long since clicked the link, haven’t you? (INeedMyFix)
Adam Lambert pulls a Tavi. If you didn’t get that reference, I’m kind of proud of you. (MathewGuiver)
Britney Spears. Internet Drama. Fans. Flames. You know you want to click when the boss isn’t looking. (PoorBritney)
Urban Outfitters = Urban OutandOutThievers. No seriously, this is very real. Don’t buy their stuff. (PopBytes)
Jon Hamm scores! With video! You’ve already clicked away, we both know this. (Swoonworthy)
Apparently cocaine is not fattening. In totally unrelated news, Tara Reid is losing weight! (TheSkinnyChic)
Selah.
