We never said the phone company was logical.
Hello again, darlings. Today’s call brings bad news: I think I’ve become a Gnostic by way of Thomas Ligotti. You don’t know Thomas Ligotti? Oh, you’ve been missing nightmares galore all this time, poor you. The Gnostics, in Seriously Dumbed Down Theology News, believed the world was being dreamed into being by super-duper angels called Archons. Thomas Ligotti’s twist on this is to state unequivocally that they are having nightmares.
Did I ever explain that I have a tendency to go emo during times of stress? So, yeah. That.
Here are your Malevolent Or Insanely Dreaming God Celebrity Gossip Links for today. So, yeah, try to come to peace with the continued existence of Paris Hilton and the fact Miley Cyrus made tens of millions of dollars last year. Happy Dreams!
Hippies, mushrooms, social workers, and hockey. Of COURSE this is a story from BC. Bring your short attention span and leave your patchouli back in the Mystery Machine, man. (raincoaster)
A just god would not allow this. She’s Suri. But not Suri enough for this abomination. (Ayyyy)
My Drunk Kitchen isn’t nearly drunk enough for THIS unspeakable thing. And when your cooking show needs a safety spotter, you seriously need to rethink this concept. (ManoloFood)
Batman! Thank god you’ve arrived! That’s Iraq solved, then! (Lolebrity)
Real news is what happens when God isn’t looking. Or is that G-D? But it happened this morning. (Crasstalk)
Courtney Love and Adnan Khashoggi sitting in a tree…no seriously, she’s trying to make this happen. Are we totally sure there’s a drug she hasn’t tried yet? Because she still appears to be on all of them simultaneously. (AgentBedhead)
ZOMBIES! And I ain’t talking cocktails! Zombies rule (until Animals came along…) (BusyBeeBlogger)
A million Twihards just came. RPattz is looking for a lifemate. Helpmeet. Mate. You just fainted again, didn’t you? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Cheryl Cole not ready for US prime time. No. Shit. Dude. (CelebritySmack)
Lady Gaga, I knew God. God was a friend of mine. You. Are no God. (CelebVIPLounge)
I got no farther than the concept of milking the Green Lantern before I had to take a bit of “me time” if you know what I mean and I think you do. (DailyStab)
Kim Kardashian already working on KKK? A just god would not allow this. Steve? Steve, baby? (EarSucker)
Lindsay Lohan flashes the plastic. I’m sorry, right. Even her VISA card is natural. (FitFabCeleb)
Peace out, dudes. No, seriously, peace out. Right outta my life. (GirlsTalkinSmack)
My OTHER imaginary boyfriend was on American Idol? Why, Steve and Julian will be so jealous! (HaveUHeard)
Bridesmaids outtakes. If we’re lucky this includes Jon Hamm P-slips. (HollywoodHiccups)
More proof the Gouvernator is no Kennedy. I’m sorry, but that’s no Marilyn Monroe, my friends. (INeedMyFix)
Jack Black, nekkid as a jaybird in front of the TSA. What would you give for an unobstructed view? (MathiewGuiver)
Okay, NOW I know who Shemar Moore is. And believe me, I won’t forget any time soon. (Swoonworthy)
Breaking Dawn breaking poster. This is news? Come on, Prince Hot Ginge, give us something newsworthy! (TheSkinnyChic)
Selah.
