Now that CBS has taken our advice and officially fired Carlos Estevez, one may wonder what the former bowling shirt connoisseur will do now. Well, I think it’s rather obvious – become King of All Media. That’s right. The Sheen is going to conquer the world one social media empire at a time. For now though, he’s Twitter’s most famous mascot. Fantastic.
As his first act as social networking Emperor he’s placed an ad looking for an intern to help him craft all of his wonderful and now quotable Charlie Sheen Twitterisms. I imagine this job would entail serving him breakfast and then just listening to him ramble on about various large jungle cats filled with demon blood and broccoli and then, you know, typing it into Twitter.
AOL news reports, Sheen wants a “hardworking, self-motivated, creative, resourceful and social media savvy individual to work closely with him to leverage his social network.” Uh, okay. Is that kind of like a young, nubile, newly established porn star who can decipher his code of egomania and narcissistic rant-speak? Because that’s what I think this means. Maybe not. It looks like he’s serious. Well, as serious as someone who has introduced Tiger Blood into our lexicon can be.
Here’s the full ad:
Deadline: March 11th, 2011
Position: Full-Time, Paid
Timeframe: Summer 2011 (8 weeks)Description: Do you have #TigerBlood? Are you all about #Winning? Can you #PlanBetter than anyone else? If so, we want you on #TeamSheen as our social media #TigerBloodIntern!
This unique internship opportunity will allow a hard-working, self-motivated, creative, resourceful and social media savvy individual to work closely with Charlie Sheen in leveraging his social network. The internship will focus on executing a social media strategy that will build on the success Charlie Sheen has attained in setting the Guinness World Record for the fastest time to reach one million followers on Twitter. The #TigerBloodIntern is expected to be proactive, monitor the day-to-day activities on the major social media platforms, prepare for exciting online projects and increase Charlie’s base of followers.You will learn how to promote and develop the social media network of Hollywood’s most trending celebrity.
Judging from the application, there is absolutely no criteria for this position. None at all. You just need to be able to tell Charlie Sheen in 75 characters or less why you want to work for him. Glorious.
Okay, so here’s what I’d like to do.
Let’s all come up with something spectacular to submit! Please put your best “I Wanna Work For Charlie” application submission in the comments. The best one will get a prize. What kind of prize? Well, the kind that doesn’t cost a thing — our undying love, adoration, perhaps a few mellifluous statements about your awesomeness, and superior recognition demonstrated by my most spectacular egg sammich picture.
Also, let me know if you’d like to actually submit your application and see what happens. You could be famous! Or just marginally confused.
*I can’t guarantee the safety of anyone actually pursuing an internship with Charlie Sheen, there may be waivers involved.
