Do you ever sit on your sweat-soaked futon, wearing only your mustard-stained tighty whities, scratching your dandruff and wondering “Why my poor?” If you’re like most poor people, you probably have built up a long list of reasons for finding yourself now subsisting on Hardee’s and driving an uninsured 91 Chevy. Perhaps you blame your deadbeat father, or the unsupportive seventh grade teacher who saw your piss-poor math equations and promptly recommended you learn how to dig nice, straight ditches.
Well, Cletus, researchers have recently been studying the question of inter-generational economic mobility and found that the blame actually lies with your ancestors. As it turns out, if your great-great-great-great-grandfather had maybe gotten his shit together for five goddamn minutes instead of sexing sheep and drinking pig liquor all day, you might actually not have to steal your neighbor’s wi-fi in 2013. Continue reading