Merry almost Christmas, kids! I thought I would put up some great holiday cartoons both for the grown ups and for any kids that the grown-ups have foolishly been left in charge of. Continue reading
The Adventures of Tintin, directed by Steven Spielberg, is essentially an Indiana Jones cartoon without Indiana Jones. Imagine that in the last Indiana Jones movie, greaser Shia LeBoeuf is replaced with a pleasant, studious red-haired kid who’s being chased by Russians. Then, in a sequel, which involves pirates and treasure instead of goddamned crystal skulls, Indiana Jones just never shows up. It’s ok, though, because you don’t really miss him. There’s a chase through a market that looks a lot like the one in “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” so maybe you miss him a little bit there, but otherwise, no. Continue reading
There have been somewhere between four and five thousand tv and film versions of “A Christmas Carol.” I’m not going through all of them, because I have junk to do and presents to wrap, but this is a brief guide to some of the best and worst of them.
If you mention “A Christmas Carol” to your grandparents, this is the one they think of. For a lot of people, this is the definitive version.
http://youtu.be/SpbthuKFuFA
Years ago, it was the tradition for my family to meet at my mother’s house for Christmas breakfast. With nieces, nephews, and random cousins, we had maybe 20 people around the dining room table. After presents were opened, we served breakfast family style, with dishes passed around the table.
Someone found this recipe in a magazine, we made it, and it was demanded every year after that. It’s super simple to assemble the casserole on Christmas Eve, then pull it out of the fridge Christmas morning, throw on the topping, then put it in the oven for 40 minutes or so. The trick to serving this dish is to let it set for 15 minutes after pulling it out of the oven. The resting time allows steam to escape and the casserole to settle into one delicious mass. Continue reading
Last day to shop for that special someone. Or maybe it’s already too late because you open presents today. Either way, try not to overdo it. Continue reading
So it’s nearly Christmas, and you’ve just realized you didn’t get anything for your annoying cousin Sally. If Sally is like most humans, she probably likes sweets– and these cookies are just the thing to get Sally to shut up. The entire process takes less than ten minutes from start to finish, and your recipients will be fooled into thinking you love them touched by the effort you put into their gift.
I don’t have anyone left to get gifts for, but after an overzealous almond bark-buying spree I did find myself needing to do something to get rid of my stockpile. My two choices were mint chocolate almond bark (which looks deceptively fancy) and almond bark cookies– I went with the almond bark cookies because they’re extremely messy, and if there’s one thing I love it’s making messes. Continue reading
Anh Tu Nguyen – Holiday on the way, my dears… – 2011
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Hathor, your new COW goddess has finally risen, after a good catnap and a scratch.
These were a very eventful few weeks. TOO BAD NO ONE SENT IN ANY SCREENSHOTS YOU LAZY MOFO’S!!!!!!!
That being said, if you don’t like my choices, suck it.
… and the categories for best COW are….
One year when we were kids, my dad decided to mess with my brother and I in a way not unlike that Jimmy Kimmel video that has been making the rounds this week. He brought out a huge wrapped-up gift and stuck it under the tree. After every other gift had been opened, my brother and I tore the wrapping paper off and there it was — an entire pig’s head from a butcher shop. He thought this was hilarious… and YouTube hadn’t even been invented yet.
So Christmas brings out the crazy side in all of us and nowhere is that more evident than at the Shopping Mall of Perversion that is Craigslist. When Slim Pickens and I first kicked around the idea of a Christmas-themed Craigslost we honestly didn’t think we’d find nearly enough demented assholery and Freudian dysfunction for an entire post. Boy were we wrong. (Slim: Never before have I been so glad that I was wrong. I think.)
Let’s get to the fuckery! (Warning: Craigslost is NSFW.)
Welcome back kids! We haven’t done this in a while, but I thought it would be a fun way to start the holiday weekend. So get ready to shake it and come inside. Continue reading