Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words (“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”) and is said to have called it his best work.
What say you, Crasstonians? Care to try? The rules are simple. You have six words and unlimited punctuation to tell a story. Here’s a few to get things going.
I wish I lived somewhere where you don’t get a high of 84ºF in January. Continue reading
Sean Penn,
We knew you when
You were a Bad Boy, At Close Range.
Madonna’s toy in Shanghai Surprise.
Now you’re a bored, retired Goth rock star
Looking for an ex-Nazi war criminal
To a David Byrne soundtrack.
These are the steamiest, juiciest, most illicit tales about a Food Network celebrity that you’ll find on the internet. Unless you count these… (it’s soooo Giada, right?)* However, I’m going to try to avoid getting too specific so I can’t answer things like “What was your job title?, “When exactly were you employed?”, “Where you ever filmed for the show?”, “How many Deen brothers did you have sex with?”, and “What does Paula really think about the butter scene in Last Tango in Paris?” Okkkay, I’ll answer the last three… Continue reading
It’s time for Dance Moms! Excitement! Vivi’s hair! Head bobbing! I’m assuming you all are up to date, so let’s grab our toe shoes and jete right into this! Continue reading
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmHvfkDZjgA
Steven Tyler keeps getting shit for singing the National Anthem.
You didn’t ask Justin Beiber to sing the National Anthem. You asked Steven Tyler, from legendary Boston band Aerosmith. Continue reading
Today is the day in which we determine who in Congress claps the loudest. Continue reading
It’s like the Huffington Post just peered into the deep, dark recesses of the Crasstalk mind and determined that wars are won and fought over cilantro. No, seriously, have you ever had a cilantro debate? Bloodshed. Tears. Apoplexy. These are all things that surely occur once you engage in battle over that little, soapy, poo tasting dirge of a herb that is named cilantro or as some of us like to refer to it, nasty thing that assaults our taste buds whenever we eat guacamole or pico de gallo. Feh. Here then are a few others that have been deemed the 10 Most Polarizing Foods. Do you agree? Continue reading
The unending horror that is Campaign 2012 lurches now into Florida, with loathsome space-criminal Newton Leroy Gingrich more-or-less the front runner again after savagely defragging hapless software glitch Willard “10k” Romney in South Carolina. Sweater-fetishist and reproductive-sex enthusiast Dick Santorum is hoping to catch up with the disgraced former House Speaker here in the wretched peninsula where all those Spanish conquistadores got malaria. Romney is just hoping not to get embarrassed again. Ron Paul left hope behind in the sands of his homeland, millennia ago, and he comes here because he cannot stop, until the temple gold is recovered, and his curse is lifted, and dread Horus calls him home. Monday night, the candidates met in Tampa, near the spot where Hernando de Soto introduced the Calusa people to smallpox, for yet another one of their endless debates. Won’t these people ever shut up? The short answer, of course, is no. Continue reading
