Santorum Endorses Romney in Drunken Late-Night Text Message

Presidential campaigns, like syphilis, proceed in stages. You have the primaries, where a variety of dysfunctional clowns jostle with each other for the fickle favor of Iowa’s pig-men and New Hampshire’s maple miners, and march from state to state in a colorful pander-circus. Eventually, though, candidates start dropping out in various degrees of misery and humiliation, and one of the candidates rounds up enough pig-men and hill-folk and rodeo-clowns to secure the nomination. Then, you enter the next stage, where the ex-candidates, fetid in loser-stink, endorse the presumptive nominee with various degrees of faux-enthusiasm. Often, this involves some sort of half-assed speech in a hotel ball room, and some awkward hand-shaking between the endorsing loser and the smarmy winner. This is where we are now, with listless also-rans glumly pretending to rally around America’s least-beloved millionaire man-bot. Dick Santorum dropped out last month, and this past week he completed the failure-ritual by endorsing his former rival. Continue reading →

Recipe Sunday: Scallion Pancakes with a Spicy Ginger Sauce

There’s something so simple and satisfying about scallion pancakes. These staples of Chinese restaurants aren’t difficult to make at home (although there are a few simple techniques that help them to be soft and flaky) and they are incredibly delicious.  Scallion pancakes also only require one “expensive” ingredient – sesame oil. You can find a bottle of that for three to nine dollars – and it will last you for at least a year, even if you use it regularly. Continue reading →

Saturday Night DJ Party — The Dope Boy Mix

This time around we’re gonna change it up. Instead of dance music I put together a mix of grimey-ass down South dope boy rap. I know it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow but I don’t recommend playing  this for her when you take her out for brunch (unless your mom is Trina). Continue reading →

Another Reason to Become a Mother

My children always get me lovely Mother’s Day gifts. I’m excited to discover what gifts I will be able to open with my breakfast in bed Sunday. Today I learned that my children gave me a great gift on the day of their birth: I became smarter.

Funny, after all of my children were born, I didn’t feel smarter. In fact, I felt downright stupid as my memory seemed shot from the lack of sleep. Little did I know that my maternal hormones were actually causing my brain to increase in size.

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Crasstalk COW: If I Had a Hammer


Happy Friday, munchkins! I admit that after last week’s numerous nominations, I feared you might forget about me this week, but you didn’t. You sent even more nominations. So many that I didn’t fit everything in this post, but please don’t let that discourage you from inundating me with them every week. Every week! Say it with me! Every week! Okay, hit the jump for my recap of the week’s posts, notable comments and–you guessed it–your Comment of the Week. Continue reading →

Is the Time Magazine Breastfeeding Kid Totally Screwed?

Well, you’ve probably seen Aram Grumet. He’s the three year-old seen breastfeeding on the cover of the upcoming Time magazine issue, “Are You Mom Enough.” The youngster shown clad in camouflage pants and standing on a stool with his eyes slightly tilted toward the camera as he latches on was posed by photographer Martin Schoeller who wanted to make Aram seem bigger, taller, older and more independent to emphasize the unusualness of the activity. But the question remains how all of this, let’s say notoriety, will impact him? Continue reading →