LeftCoastLady

21 posts
Insomniac, music evangelist, traveler, and Random Citizen.

The Art of Erotic E-mail

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(Photo by Aimee Ketsdever)

My name is LeftCoastLady and I’m a slut…on e-mail…and have no intention of stopping.

Sending someone – whether they’re a potential mate, your significant other, or just an “other” – a carefully crafted erotic e-mail takes practice. Not to be cliché, but it truly is a delicate balance. Just because you’re sending a note via e-mail doesn’t mean you should slack off on the creativity.

While you don’t want to be too vulgar, you also don’t want to be so subtle the inference goes flying over their cranium. Leave lots of clues, but also allow them to fill in the blanks using their imagination. This is key if you want the e-mail exchange to go beyond one round.

Get descriptive. Tell them how you smell, what you’re wearing/not wearing, or even what you’re eating. Describing the eating of an especially juicy piece of fruit in combination of how it tastes – and, oops, some just dribbled down your chin – can send some over the top. Once the correspondence has gone a couple of rounds, start to get into the specifics of what you like as well as what you want to do or to have done to you. Make sure your responses feed off one another. If they want to talk about kissing, then your response should tell them where you want to be kissed and how (soft, hard, lots of tongue, etc.).

It should go without saying, but accurate spelling and grammar is key. Don’t send a message so riddled with errors your object of affection spends more time deciphering your intention than actually enjoying the thought of you and all the naughty things they want to do.

Like a knowing wink or an inviting smile, an erotic e-mail message can provide both the sender and the recipient with pleasure and a sense of anticipation for what will happen later on when they meet in person and are able to act out what was written.

If successful, the message will make them cross or shift their legs, make their body temperature rise, and change their breathing patterns.

Now, if you excuse me, I have an e-mail to send…

Turn on and tune in…to a podcast

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For better or worse, my life is tied to the Internet. It is my work, my play, and how I communicate with the rest of the world.

Thanks to all that time spent in front of a computer, I’ve discovered a lot of great podcasts that allow me to put on the headphones to either laugh or learn something.

“Um, LeftCoastLady, what’s a podcast?”

Essentially, a podcast is a digital file — either audio or video — that can either be streamed online or downloaded. The content of the podcast is recorded by various hosts on a range of topics from history to sports to comedy to sex advice and everything in between and then uploaded to a site for users to access. There’s practically something for just about everyone.

The best part about podcasts is the ability to download them and place them on your portable audio device or even on your phone. Have an upcoming flight? Grab a few podcasts and drown out the lame movie, if there is a movie.

While many podcasts can be found on various sites across the Web, I prefer using the iTunes directory for easy searching and for recommendations based on my current listening habits.

So, if you’ve never listened to a podcast or are looking for a few new ones to add to your roster, here are a few of my favorites. I have tons more, but figured highlighting eight was enough.

Comedy:
“WTF with Marc Maron“: This very not-safe-for-work podcast is part-therapeutic and part-entertainment. Maron tends to interview his fellow comedians and the ensuing discussions give the listener insight into just the amount of damage needed to be a good or great comedian. You know, “tears of a clown,” and such. In addition to interviews with comedians, Maron has interviewed authors, film directors and, well, Gallagher. A favorite episode: “Henry Rollins.”

“Monday Morning Podcast with Bill Burr“: Bill Burr is an angry, angry man. And for that, I love him. He rages on topics that drive me up the wall as well, yet my blood pressure stays low thanks to the ability to listen to his rants. If you’re not a big sports fan, you may find some of his chatter boring, but stick around. His weekly show — posted on, you guessed it, Monday — also includes discussion on recent events, race relations, and the occasional “appearance” of his girlfriend as a co-host. This is definitely a podcast to listen to with your headphones on unless you’re in the comforts of your own home.

Economics:
“Marketplace“: I have a not-so-secret interest in understanding economics and how world events can impact my wallet. Fortunately, American Public Media’s Marketplace podcast provides you with a daily (Monday – Friday) glimpse of the world markets in addition to more in-depth stories on how economics impact us in less than 30 minutes. Plus, Kai Ryssdal’s voice is very, very nice.

“Planet Money“: Like “Marketplace,” the Planet Money team is all about economics and how it impacts us, but they take it a step further by breaking it down in a way that’s understandable to just about anyone. Whether it’s buying a toxic asset or multiple trips to Haiti post-earthquake, the team gives vague economic terms a human face and emotion.

Technology/Internet:
“Tech News Today“: Warning! This is for geeks only. Okay, not really, but it is necessary to understand some of the basics to fully appreciate all the information being thrown at you. The Tech News team offers a daily (Monday – Friday) podcast that runs down the latest in tech news from across the various blogs, tech company press events, and much more. If you want to know what’s going on in under an hour, this podcast is a must-listen.

Life:
“This American Life“: TAL is probably the most popular podcast available. Each week, Ira Glass comes into your ears with random tales that will make you laugh, cry, cringe, and sometimes go, “Meh.” Regardless, listening to this podcast is part of my Sunday evening wind-down routine as I prepare for the workweek. A favorite episode: “Georgia Rambler.”

Music:
“Deep House Cat“: I’m all about having a dance party in my head via my headphones. The Deep House Cat Show produces about five podcasts a month ranging from 60 minutes to two hours of delicious house music. There have been many times where I’ve hit pause to look up a song and download it. Because the length of the podcast varies, it’s great for throwing on while doing chores, working out, or simply sitting on the sofa with a vodka drink (aka how LCL spends her Sunday afternoons).

“Hed Kandi“: Best known for their Ibiza parties, the UK-based Hed Kandi label offers a monthly (or so) podcast highlighting music from their recent album releases. Thanks to last month’s “Twisted Disco” podcast, I bought the album tout de suite and proceeded to dance around the house.

They’re all gonna laugh at me

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Earlier this week, I wrote about my somewhat random decision to reactivate one of my dating profiles.

Am I currently one of the featured profiles on the site? Yes.

Am I receiving so many responses that I haven’t had time to reply to them all? No.

Have the messages/flirts I’ve sent been responded to with hot n’ heavy promises of a good time? No.

Thus, my results are pretty much mirroring the experiences I’ve encountered previously. That made me sad, but then thanks to the fabulous Miss Anita Manbadly, I shrugged off the negative feelings and decided to have fun.

What came out of that? Why, this funtastic video that I’ve added to my profile!

Who is Planteater?!? from Random Citizen on Vimeo.

Also, I now laugh at profiles. Not in a bitter way, but more in a “Wow, you really think you’re better than me?” sort of way. Here I am contacting you to chat you up, but I’m not good enough? Fool, you’re on a dating site!

My favorites are the ones by older guys who are on a site where most of the females are a good decade or two younger. Oh yeah, Daddy, you go ahead and ignore someone who’s actually interested in older men for those 20-somethings who don’t want to deal with your saggy balls.

So, I may not have boys beating down my door anytime soon, I’m choosing to see this as another learning experience instead of feeling completely sorry for myself.

I’ll still scowl at those fucking lucky trolls in love, though.

Ode to the Savior of Misbehavior

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Many, many years ago, when I was a young, impressionable girl, I fell into a ditch where I was ravaged by the music of the Afghan Whigs.

*ahem*

It only seems appropriate to start off a post/appreciation of Greg Dulli with a bit of drama.

The Whigs (fuck that other band who are attempting to use that name) were on Subpop with other late 80s/90s grunge mainstays, but they clearly were not cut from the same cloth. The band was heavily influenced by old soul and R&B records as much as The Replacements and Hüsker Dü. Plain and simple, these guys had swagger to spare.

The band’s live shows were epic. I was fortunate to see the band in all their live glory where they took performing a cover song to a new level. Lead singer Greg Dulli was part-master of ceremonies, part-preacher with a lot of sin in his past.

“Gentlemen” by the Afghan Whigs

Following the split of the Afghan Whigs back in February, 2001, Dulli’s Twilight Singers project emerged, featuring a variety of musicians, including Mark Lanegan, Joseph Arthur, Petra Haden, and Ani DiFranco, over the years. Their newest release, Dynamite Steps, is dark, sweeping, and feels like a soundtrack to a film yet to be made.  In short, it’s absolutely beautiful. I highly recommend picking up the album on February 15.

“On the Corner” by the Twilight Singers

You’d think one band would keep Dulli busy considering he also owns a few bars in L.A. and New Orleans. Oh no. Dulli’s vocals can be heard all over the place from DJ Muggs to Lo Fidelity Allstars.

Then there’s the Gutter Twins, a group in which Dulli shares vocals with the amazing Mark Lanegan (Screaming Trees, collaborator with Isobel Campbell as well as his own solo career). Saturnalia, the Twins’ debut album, feels like you’re in a broken handbasket on the way to Hell. Even if you don’t drink, you may pick up a whiskey habit after listening to the album.

“All Misery/Flowers” by the Gutter Twins

Oh, and since it’s Friday, I’ll end this appreciation with a rumpshaker and possibly a song that I may or may not have used in a poledance routine.

“Southside Lowdown” by Lo Fidelity AllStars featuring Greg Dulli.

MFTMA — 10 Years On

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To know me is to know that I’m a big fan of Pete Yorn.

While flipping through a music magazine, I discovered the then-new artist thanks to an advertisement for his album, musicforthemorningafter. I saw the album cover and said, “Hmm, that guy’s pretty hot,” and decided to buy the album.

After listening to the album, my shallowness was set aside because I fell in love with the music and lyrics. From start to finish, songs such as “Life on a Chain,” “Lose You, ” and “For Nancy (‘Cos It Already Is)” are so good that even my friends who aren’t huge PY fans will admit. To think this album was his debut effort is somewhat unreal when looking back.

Over the past 10 years, I’ve seen PY perform all over the U.S. in small bookstores to large venues. He started out with a small group of very loyal fans and that base has grown significantly over the years. Fortunately, he’s still a great friend to his fans via Facebook and Twitter. Plus, he’s a really nice guy and you have to root for the nice guys in the music industry. He also puts his albums out on vinyl for people like me who still own a turntable and actually use it.

In March, as part of the 10th anniversary of MFTMA, PY will be performing the album in its entirety as part of his setlist during his spring tour. Thankfully, the shows I’m attending are part of the stops where the album will be played.

Hearing the album in its entirety means I get to relive some of the fun live moments I’ve had over the years. There are some songs that aren’t regularly performed during his shows that will once again see the light of day.

Still, what I’m most excited about is the ability to return to that time 10 years ago when I was just listening to the album for the first time and slowly, but surely becoming a PY fan for life.

Chasing the Unicorn

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Earlier this week, I reactivated one of my dating profiles after several months of being off the dating grid. In the hopes of having a fresh start, I created a new username, uploaded new photos, wrote some new “witty” copy, and put together a quick video with additional information on yours truly.

So far, I’ve not received any flirts/winks/happy-smiley-faces. I’ve sent a couple of flirts to a few guys, but didn’t hear back. After seeing some cuties on the site, I sent brief e-mails asking the guys about something mentioned in their profile. No response.

In the back of my mind, I know this is a test of my patience, yet it kills me. Having my e-mail open in a tab for most of the day, I admit I get a little excited at the hopes that when I click over, it will be an e-mail from someone on the site. I figure I have another week before that optimism wears off.

Recently, one of my gay friends went through my roster of talents and asked why I wasn’t married. I simply shrugged my shoulders. It’s not as if I haven’t asked myself that internally. And I don’t even necessarily want to get married.

This is why I can't have nice thingsI’ll readily admit that I’m not hot, nor am I everyone’s cup of tea. Still, I can’t help but get angry when I see two trolls in love while I’m commuting to/from work. Fucking lucky trolls in love.

But I digress…

Anyone else out there playing around in the dating puddle? What tips can you offer in maintaining one’s sanity?

Going Green…Internally

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Last month, while pondering what I wanted to do differently in 2011, I thought about what I put in my mouth.

For about seven years (age 14-21), I was a vegetarian. Back then, there weren’t nearly as many ready-to-eat or veg-friendly ingredients carried in regular grocery stores. Now, even Wal-Mart has organic and veg-friendly options.

Needless to say, I fell off the veg wagon and was OK with that for many years. Then, in 2010, after putting on some unwanted weight, I started working out with a trainer. I still didn’t change what I was eating, but knew that would need to change sooner than later.

While identifying what I wanted to change in 2011, I wrote down that I wanted to institute vegan Mondays and Wednesdays each week to force myself to really think about what I’m putting in my mouth and to start preparing healthier meals for myself.

A friend told me about the Physician’s Committee for Responsible Medicine and their 21-Day Vegan Kickstart program. I signed up, bought a few recipe books, and put together a meal plan for the first week.

Since January 2, 2011, I have been eating a plant-based diet and I feel great. Seriously. I’m a life-long insomniac, but have been sleeping really well lately. Also, I find myself waking up and wanting to get out of bed. My body feels energized. Usually, I felt sluggish around 2PM or 3PM while sitting at my desk. Last week, I breezed through that time with ease.

I’m now in my second week and feel like I could do this for much longer than 21 days.

Of course, it helps that I love to cook and throw stuff together in the kitchen. It also helps that I live in a city where there are tons of vegan-friendly restaurants in addition to the options available in the grocery store.

Because of my access to veg-friendly options, I consider myself quite lucky to be able to even do this. I know not everyone in this country has easy access to quality, fresh vegetables, which is something that needs to change.

Being on a plant-based diet has made me realize how important it is to keep track of what’s going in my body if I want it to continue working properly without slowing down.

Vegan Lasagna

1 10-ounce box frozen chopped spinach, thawed (or a bunch of fresh spinach, rinsed well and chopped)
1 Butternut Squash, peeled, seeded and cut into small chunks
4-5 Fresh basil leaves or 2 tablespoons of dried basil
1 container of firm tofu
5-6 cloves of garlic
1 teaspoon salt
About 2 jars of marinara sauce (or use your own)
1 cup of vegetable broth
About 12 dry (uncooked) whole-wheat lasagna noodles
1/4 cup nutritional yeast

Preheat oven to 325°F.

Place the cut butternut squash in a large pan or stock pot. Pour in enough water to cover the squash. Put on medium-high heat and cover. Cook until the squash is tender. Remove from heat and drain.

In a food processor, add the cooked squash, garlic cloves, and tofu. Purée the ingredients. While the processor is in purée mode, slowly add in 3/4 cup of the vegetable broth. When all ingredients are mixed, turn off the processor.

In a large sauté pan, add 1/4 cup of vegetable broth and the spinach. If using fresh spinach, sauté until it’s wilted. If using frozen, sauté until it’s warm. Remove from heat and add in the marinara sauce. Mix together.

Coat the bottom of a 9″×13″ pan with the marinara/spinach mixture, then add a layer of lasagna noodles, overlapping noodles slightly. Then, spread on a heaping amount of the butternut squash-tofu mixture to cover the noodles. Then, add on another layer of lasagna noodles. Repeat this process again. The final layer should be the marinara/spinach mixture. Sprinkle nutritional yeast all over the top.

Cover tightly with aluminum foil and bake for 1 hour. Stick a knife through the center of the lasagna to make sure the noodles are completely cooked. Let cool for about 15 minutes, uncovered, before serving.

Enjoy!

LeftCoastLady’s Favorite Music from 2010

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(To see the original entry in all its non-modified glory, please visit Dimple and a Smirk (dot) com.)

In looking back on the music of 2010 that entered my ears, I listened to a lot of house/dance/electronic. Moving one’s ass is always a good thing. I also listened to a lot of comedy albums this year. In fact, this will be the first time my “best of” list will include comedy albums. If I had done this last year, Jim Gaffigan’s King Baby would have blown away most of my music selections. I’m almost embarrassed by the number of times I’ve played tracks from the album this year.

But enough of that, let’s get on to my favorites from 2010!

Favorite Albums:

The Lady Killer – Cee Lo Green
Before the album was released, everyone was abuzz about “F**k You” and rightfully so. It’s catchy, makes you smile, and includes a handful of f-bombs. The good news is the rest of the album is just as great and in some places, even better. If there is such a genre as alt-R&B, then Cee Lo is part of it. It may be cliché, but this album deserves all the praise it can get. Cee Lo’s take on Band of Horse’s “No One’s Gonna Love You” is so good, I may start listening to his version more than the original. And I love the original version to pieces.

Brothers – The Black Keys
Will the bluesy boys from Akron, Ohio, ever put out a less than awesome album? Highly doubtful. If your foot doesn’t start tapping beginning on the opening track, “Everlasting Light,” you may need to loosen up a bit. If your hips aren’t swaying on the second song, “Next Girl,” you may not have a pulse. When I first heard “Next Girl,” I knew I would be blasting it a lot. Oh goodness, what a great fucking song. There are a lot of contagious songs on this album — “Howlin’ for You,” “The Only One,” and well, all of them. Also, go see the Black Keys perform live. One of the best live bands around, that’s for sure.

Record Collection – Mark Ronson & The Business Intl.
What happens when a sought-after producer puts out an album that includes collaborations with artists such as Duran Duran, Boy George, D’angelo, Miike Snow, Q-Tip, among others? Awesome things happen, that’s what. The title of the album is appropriate because it feels like a carefully-crafted mix tape. “Bang Bang Bang” and “You Gave Me Nothing” will get you on the dancefloor while “Someone to Love Me” will make retreat to a seat on the side because you don’t have a dance partner.

Pete Yorn – Pete Yorn
See the review I wrote back in September. I’ll add this: I cannot wait to see PY perform live in support of this album in a few months. It will also be interesting to see whether or not married life affects his future musical output.

Let It Go – Bill Burr
Bill Burr is an angry man and that’s why I like him. I like to think his anger allows me to walk around and not rage at everyone and everything. You’ll laugh out loud at his observations on people because there’s a good chance you’ve encountered some of the same situations. Thanks to Bill Burr, you can hear what it sounds like if you were to act on what you’re really thinking.

I Learned the Hard Way– Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
When I first picked up this album back in April, I knew it would be on my year-end “best of” list. It’s as if by pushing “play” I was transported back in time to the era of Motown girl groups and bands who wore matching suits. Sharon’s voice just pours emotion into the lyrics. You feel her heartache on tracks like “The Game Gets Old” or on, my favorite track, “Window Shopping.” Likewise, the Dap-Kings work in tandem with Sharon’s voice to fully make the songs deliver their punch. On the instrumental track, “The Reason,” you really get to hear the Dap-Kings as they deliver a song that is just…groovy. No really, it has a great groove.

Crazy For You – Best Coast
The opening track “Boyfriend” sucked me in. If the rest of the album wasn’t great, “Boyfriend” would have been at the top of my favorite songs list. The album is full of catchy sugar pop music — check out “Our Deal” and “Honey” — that makes you want to sit on a beach blanket while writing in your diary about your new crush.

Timeless Pulse – Collioure
While listening to a Deep House Cat podcast, I fell in love with a song called “La Vague.” That sent me on a search to learn more about Collioure, a Japanese downtempo/lounge group. With limited vocals on the songs, the listener is left to fully appreciate the music, which is lush, exotic and perfect for a chillout session.

III/IV – Ryan Adams & The Cardinals
I’ve only had this double album — on beautiful, gorgeous, colorful vinyl — for about two weeks, but yes, it’s really that good. What’s essentially a collection of B-sides can put to shame a lot of A-side albums on the market these days. The album has some great little gems on it like “Typecast” and “Gracie.”

Transference – Spoon
When I received Transference, I wasn’t sure where to set my expectations. Could they really do another Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga? Yes and no. With songs like “Who Makes Your Money” and “Got Nuffin,” I found the album to be a closer relative to soulful grooves found on Gimme Fiction. One of my favorite tracks is the sleepy “Out Goes the Lights.”

Honorable Mentions:

As I Call You Down – Fistful of Mercy
Dhani Harrison, Ben Harper, and Joseph Arthur. That’s three kinds of awesome merged into one group. For a debut album, it’s fairly solid, however, where it falters is in trying to maintain some of the singular qualities of each musician’s individual artistry. When I listen to the album, I can hear each member’s contributions, but I also (selfishly) wanted to hear them push beyond that and deliver something unique to the album.

Interpol – Interpol
I really wanted to like this album more than I currently do. I wanted to love it, especially after the less-than-stellar Our Love to Admire. The couple of songs I heard prior to the album’s release — “Barricade” and “Lights” — gave me hope, but as a whole, the album left me longing for a band that put out Turn on the Bright Lights and Antics. Yes, I’ve become one of those types of fans, which is sad, because I’ve loved Interpol for a long time.

Winner Winner – Jessi Campbell
Because of my frequent comedy album purchases, Jessi Campbell’s album came up as a recommendation. I’d never heard of her before the recommendation. I listened to the album with tempered expectations, but oh my, she’s quite funny! I’m looking forward to hearing more from her in the future.

Favorite Songs (excludes songs from favorite albums):

“Blackbird and the Fox” – Twilight Singers feat. Ani DiFranco
“Rolling in the Deep” – Adele
“Not Giving Up On Love (Armin van Buuren Remix)” – Armin Van Buuren vs. Sophie Ellis Bextor
“O.N.E.” – Yeasayer
“Together Alright (MTV’s 2010 Club Mix)” – Martijn ten Velden & Red Carpet
“Vanity” – Christina Aguilera
“Our Summer” – Dragonette
“Back It Up (Melleefresh vs Jerome Robins Velvet Fog Mix)” – SpekrFreks vs. Billy Newton Davis
“Why Like This” – Teebs

Songs I rediscovered this year and now realize it may be some of the most perfect songs ever recorded (2010 edition):

“Home” – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros (Yes, I know this song was only released a year ago, but it’s an earworm that finds its way into my head frequently.)

“So Close” – Hall & Oates

“Take Some…Leave Some” – James Brown

What I’m looking forward to music-wise in 2011: New Twilight Singers (Dynamite Steps), new PJ Harvey (Let England Shake), new Adele (21), hopefully more new Ryan Adams, attending live shows all over the place, including Pete Yorn and Twilight Singers, and, of course, discovering more new music that I can rave about to anyone who will listen.

Was it all just a dream?

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Perhaps it’s the drugs.

Lately, I’ve been having as least one very vivid dream each week. When I awaken, I can remember the details so well that I actually have to question whether or not I actually did teleport myself to Chicago where I met up with an ex who then took me to Joseph Arthur’s house so we could crash there for the night.

Yeah, maybe it is the drugs.

Then, there was the dream where my co-workers and I had to move offices to a more crowded floor, but first, we had to go to a concert in an amphitheater. I can easily remember walking through the grass towards the stage and waiting for the band to perform. There was even an instance in the dream where one of the guys from the band recognized me.

Drugs are good! Mmmkay?!?

No matter their subject, I can’t complain about the dreams, actually. My physical life isn’t nearly as exciting, so I’m glad at least one part of my brain is firing and making sure I have a good time somewhere.