Or – ‘In Which We Watch a Constitutional Crisis Unfold in Real Time’.
Tonight at 9PM EST, the embodiment of the YouTube comments section on a 9/11 truther video come to life and elected President of the United States will deign to interrupt your evenings (should you choose to allow it) to speak to the nation. Word is, shadow president Goebbels is taking the lead in penning and refining the speech, but that, as of this writing, the President* is not expected to declare a national emergency. A move in that direction would almost assuredly trigger a challenge that would almost certainly end up in front of a very compliant and approving-of-racism SCOTUS.
Join in on the fun in the comments-I’ll likely start around 8:45 to hear our super-intelligent commentators in the national media find a way to both sides this fucking thing.
Before we get too far underway, here’s my rough estimate of the plan of events here.
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9:00PM EST- Tangerine Ranting
9:15 PM EST- Democratic Response (Or ‘Nancy Pelosi jams a steel rod up Chuck Schumer’s ass to give the appearance of a spine’
9:25 PM EST- Maybe we’ll bounce over to MSNBC, because I understand Rep. Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) will be on Maddow, and she’s neat. [/box]
8:45 PM Barring any unexpected happenings (like, maybe, the fucking meteorite I’ve been praying for), we’ll get started right around 9PM. I’ve got Chris Hayes on in the background for the time being, just to see what the scuttle is.
8:50 PM MSNBC is just playing clips of Trump blathering on about the wall to his unhooded Klan supporters as a way of reminding us that he is both a fantastic liar and a racist, as though those things needed any re-upping.
8:56 PM Maddow is taking advantage of being on Chris Hayes’ show to do what would probably be her opening 10 minutes now, since she’s getting preempted.
9:01 PM Of course this bloated, lazy mother fucker is late. Must still be on the phone with Hannity or something. What a goddamned idiot.
9:02 PM ‘My fellow Americans’ Fuck all the way off, pal. We’re not of the same people.
9:03 PM When the President says that we are ‘out of room to hold illegal immigrants’ he means in the slap dash private prisons they’ve built for them. The midwest has a dickload of empty land, dick face.
9:04 PM I’m going to go on the record that I’m not going to fact check his nonsense crime statistics. We have journalists like Maddow, etc. who can do that effectively. Besides, we know very well that he’s so very full of shit. Also, on no planet does this man care about brown women and children.
9:06 PM Reminder, American citizens are more dangerous than immigrants, and it’s not particularly close.
9:07 PM Most illegal drugs come in via legal shipments under the cover of smugglers at points of entry. He knows this, he’s just a racist pile of trash.
9:08 PM By ‘everything in their power’ he means scapegoating brown people and fetching him Big Macs.
9:09 PM Wealthy politicians build walls around their homes because Americans are armed to the fucking teeth and racist as fuck.
9:11: PM While this scum fuck blathers on about a few (admittedly) terrible incidents involving undocumented border crossers, I’ll note that to date, 298 people have already been killed by guns in this country. You know, if you want to talk about actual crises.
9:13 PM I just happened to flip this to my local Fox affiliate, where Shep Smith is actually doing the fact checking, and it’s rather delicious. And now Chris Wallace is on, so I’m out and back to MSNBC.
9:15 PM Admittedly, I’m a bit like ‘Oh, that’s it?’ Also, please don’t let Chuck Schumer talk.
9:16 PM Seriously, did he kick Stephen Miller out of the process on this? Outside of hammering away at a few isolated incidents of violence from undocumented immigrants, this is barely a half-step past where Republicans have been for the last 20 years or so.
9:17 PM No, god, Chuck Schumer. No. Unless he literally offers to fight Trump on the Capitol steps, this is going to be pointless.
9:19 PM Note to the above: Someone should definitely challenge the President* to a fight on the Capitol steps, to expose what an unmitigated pansy he really and truly is.
9:19 PM ‘There is no challenge so great our country cannot rise to meet it- (as long as you leave out gun violence, climate change, public education, affordable health care…)
9:20 PM With SOTU in a few weeks, how many times do you think we’ll hear ‘American Carnage’ from this dipshit?
9:27 PM Honestly, I don’t have much to say. It was like a re-run of a middling sit com. I know how it goes, I know how it ends, and I can’t even invest energy in being anything other than disgusted.
Honestly, you guys, I want to watch AOC without any snark (b/c I think her approach and her policies really are the leading force of the left in this country, even if she’s not the very specific person, and who the fuck knows at this point if she is or not?). And, really, this was so tired. This man is a nightmare, and there’s really no end in sight.
Also, reminder-if he runs again in 2020 (and the GOP isn’t going to challenge him, they just aren’t), he’s going to pull 45% of the popular vote and it’s going to be close, because we are deeply stupid, racist country.
