I’m the new kid at The State Job, so I got stuck on overnights. Which is fine. I have to pay my dues and learn the job and I get to make stale jokes about being a vampire.
I also have to shift my body clock. For the last several years, I have not been able to work overnights, because of epilepsy. It’s been a seizure trigger for me — shifting from one shift to another. It appears my constant moving from a 4 AM shift one day to a 11 PM shift two days later can make the epileptic brain go a wee bit postal. However, I’m three years out from my last seizure now, and willing to take a calculated risk to switch careers.
This switch has involved caffeine. Lots of it. I am known as the Queen of Diet Coke, because I order a case of it from Fresh Direct and bring it with me to the office. Why not go out, and get some as desired, you ask? Well, because I work in a part of Queens were people get shot and stabbed on a daily basis. In broad daylight. Never mind 3 in the morning. A case of Diet Coke is good to throw at attackers. Plus, what if I’m stuck inside and can’t get away? That would be a crisis.
So when the dispatch center is quieting down, I am tweaking like am on meth. It’s time to cut back.
Diet Pepsi is for losers. The only other acceptable carbonated beverage is Dr. Brown’s Diet Cream Soda, which is far more awesome than any brand of root beer.
I also drink tonic with my gin to ward off malaria, but that’s a horse of a different color.
What do you drink?
