You know those anthropomorphic Real Dolls that are in about 50% of the creepy shows on TLC? As was pointed out by a likely owner, the Real Doll FAQ is gives an interesting insight into the thought process of a prospective Real Doll owner. Let’s take a look and analyze.
Some words have been sanitized for your protection.
Are there any known health risks? How difficult is it to keep my RealDoll in a sanitary condition?
There are no known health risks associated with RealDoll products. Each RealDoll receives a thorough acetone bath after fabrication. Keeping the doll in a sanitary condition is easy – your doll can be cleaned with a mild soap or detergent. Every RealDoll comes with a cleaning kit and easy-to-follow instructions for care and use.
The real question here is can your doll give you an STD if you’ve been passing it around. Well, yes it can. So wash it, as Dr. Steve Brule says, “for your health, dummy.”
Can water become trapped inside the doll?
No, water cannot get trapped inside the doll as the dolls are solid silicone. The bodies of the dolls are not hollow.
But, seriously, only use the provided holes. If you make new holes or try to modify the existing holes the thing will take on water like the Edmund Fitzgerald.
I want to bathe and shower with my doll. Is there anything I need to be careful about, like water temperature or duration?
Silicone rubber can withstand over 400 degrees of heat. You can soak your RealDoll in a hot bath, or put her under an electric blanket to give it lifelike body heat. A RealDoll’s silicone flesh retains heat very efficiently.
The thing about that human touch is the warmth. It’s hard to reproduce with an inert synthetic elastomer comprised of silicon, carbon, hydrogen and oxygen. But if you get it all soapy and warm, it totally real.
Can I use cosmetics on my RealDoll?
If you are planning to use cosmetics to change the look of your doll, we recommend that you specify “natural” colors on your order. Liquid eyeliner and powdered cosmetics (blushes, eye shadows, powder foundations, etc.) work very well on RealDolls. However, cream/oil-based makeup (such as liquid foundation) won’t disperse well on silicone. Eyebrow pencil and lipstick can be applied with reasonable effectiveness and these cosmetics can rub off easily. Otherwise, your RealDoll can be cleaned with normal cosmetic removers and/or mild detergents. Avoid removers that are too oily, as they will be difficult to clean from the silicone skin.
Mmmh, smoky eyed doll. But I’m assuming that by “natural” they mean, beige. That’s racist.
My doll’s wig is not attached to her head? how do I make it stay on better?
Inside the wigs there are small clips at the back which allow you to adjust the fit of the wig on the skull cap. Make the wig as tight as possible. If you would still like it to be held more securely in place, you can use standard wig pins available from any wig shop and pin the wig directly to the silicone skull cap.
The other night I was doing some light hair pulling, as that’s what Candy likes, and her wig came off. What’s up with that?
Can the doll’s hair be styled normally?
RealDolls are provided with high quality synthetic wigs that can be removed for styling, cleaning, or full replacement with any commercial wig. When brushing a long wig it is best to use a metal brush or comb and start brushing small sections close to the hair tips. Brush out sections of hair about 3 inches from the ends until they are smooth and gradually work your way up the wig towards the “scalp”. This will avoid tangling the wigs. Synthetic fiber wigs are easier to maintain than human hair wigs.
Men who buy dolls online often has great taste in hair styles. These discerning gentlemen want a good head of hair with nice style and not some unkempt mess. They have enough of an unkempt mess in mom’s basement.
Are there items of clothing which can actually damage my doll?
Dark clothing which is dyed with low quality dyes can stain the silicone if the doll is stored with these items on for long periods of time (10 days or more). As a precaution, wash all dark and vibrant colored clothes before putting them on your doll. Very tight or binding straps left on your doll over an extended period of time can form dents in her flesh, much the way it does on a real person; unlike a real person’s flesh, however, the silicone can lose shape memory. In other words, it’s fine to dress your doll in corsets or underwire bras, etc., but don’t store her in these types of clothing for extended periods of time.
Wash in cold water with like colors. But really, it’s rude to store anyone/thing in corsets and underwires. Those things are uncomfortable.
Can I dress my doll in any type of clothing?
Yes, you can dress your doll in anything you like but we recommend avoiding thick clothing such as denim jeans or boned items like corsets if you are leaving the doll dressed. Tight or heavy clothing can leave an impression in the silicone which will become permanent after a while (10 days or more). If you wish to put jeans on your doll we recommend putting pantyhose on it first so that the denim will slide over the silicone. Shirts that button, tie, snap or zip closed are easier to put on dolls than tops such as T-shirts or pullovers. You can now purchase beautiful clothing to fit your doll directly through us. For more information visit our accessories page.
Did you not understand the previous question? Pay attention nitwit.
How do I clean my doll?
A cleaning kit is included with every doll which consists of a douche ball and antibacterial soap. As soon after you have used your doll as possible, flush the cavities out with warm water and antibacterial soap. The face of the doll can be removed for easy cleaning. You can run the face under hot water to clean it but avoid wetting the eyelashes.
Slowly, clean her slowly and in a bubble bath with rose petals and Kenny G.
How do I move my doll?
The best way to move your doll is to have him or her on a rolling chair such as a wheelchair or office chair. This makes it easier for you to avoid injury and it is less likely the doll will be dropped. When this is not an option, either lift the doll in the bridal lift (one arm behind the shoulders, the other beneath the knees) and lift with your knees rather than your back, or lift the doll from under its arms to carry it. Make sure to keep the hands in a protected position crossed over the doll’s chest, or over your shoulders to avoid damage when the doll is set down. For sex, you can use [fun] swings, light bondage kits and pillows to lift and pose your doll for play. When bending a joint, use a firm two-handed grip with one hand on either side of the joint. Firmly and slowly move the joint to the desired position being careful not to twist the silicone unnaturally. Never try to pull your doll towards you by the hands as this can severely damage the wrists.
Pick her up like a man, you weakling. When you’re strapping her into a swing you don’t want to embarrass yourself by having to use an office chair. That’s not hot.
What is the best way to store my doll?
For best maintenance of your doll, it should preferably be stored hanging in a neutral position, with legs slightly spread, from the provided neck bolt. The neck bolt is removable for when you are using the doll or when it is lying down. When storing your doll, avoid creases in the silicone as these creases can become permanent over time. If you prefer to store your doll lying or sitting down, make sure to move it regularly to avoid flat spots developing on the buttocks, legs or breasts. If a flat spot or crease develops it will be permanent. The crates in which the dolls are shipped are suitable for storage. For dolls such as bodies 5, 9 and 10 with large breasts, a soft bra should be kept on the doll when she’s in storage. You should not leave boned or underwire bras or clothes on a RealDoll for long periods of time (more than 10 days).
Somewhere that nobody will ever see her.
How much weight can the doll support?
RealDolls can safely support over 400 lbs.
Big people are A-OK. But not too big.
How does [intercourse] feel with a RealDoll?
When penetrated, a vacuum is formed inside the doll’s entries which provides a powerful suction effect. This effect is strongest in the RealDoll’s oral entry. Some of RealDoll’s users have reported intense [pleasures] due to this specific feature. If you are especially interested in [mouth based action] with your doll, we recommend faces with larger mouths such as the faces 12 (Britney) and 16 (Gabrielle).
Well obviously you’re interested in that. It has a hole there, it’s going to get used. But be careful to make a good fit between your parts and the their parts. You might not have the equipment to satisfy Briney or Gabrielle.
Tell me more about the doll’s entries.
The inside of the [who-ha] and [party-town] entries are molded as part of the dolls and have texture and shape which make them feel very much like a real person. A RealDoll’s [fun-time] lips can be stretched apart very realistically and the newly sculpted [lady bits] are even more realistic than our old style [lady bits]. All new dolls delivered after February 2008 will have the new, ultra-realistic [lady-bits]. The oral entry has very soft, stretchy lips, ultra soft tongue, soft silicone teeth, and a hinged jaw that opens and closes very realistically. The tongue can be removed to allow for more space and easy cleaning. The inside of the mouth is ribbed for a very pleasurable effect.
If this doesn’t turn you on then, well, then you’re probably not in the market for one of these. Good job.
What kind of lubricants should I use?
Always use a water-based lubricant such as ID Lube. Water-based lubricants are easy to clean up and will not harm the silicone. You should not use oil-based, petroleum-based or silicone lubricants.
How many times do you have to be told, water based only. Get it together man.
Can I use my doll or RealDoll accessory item without lubricant?
For your pleasure and for best maintenance of your silicone love toy, you should always use plenty of lubricant.
Only if you want to experience doll-burn.
How do you have [relations] with a RealDoll?
Female RealDolls have 3 entries for penetration – [mouth], [party in the back] and [party in the front]. The male dolls have 2 entries for penetration [mouth] and [party in the back]. These entries are designed to give ultimate pleasure and are made of resilient silicone. Although the orifices are designed to accommodate most sizes, we are able to use smaller or larger inserts by special request. It is very infrequent that someone requires a special insert size however. For best enjoyment with your doll, ALWAYS use a water-based lubricant! We recommend ID Lube.
Again, use lube. And if you need to make that embarrassing call to ask for an extra-small orifice then please be sure to use our special code system. Just ask for a whopper, no cheese.
What is the range of the doll’s joints?
RealDoll joints have a very good range of movement — about 180 degrees or more, in most cases. The skeleton used in our dolls moves in nearly all of the ways a real human being does.
180, or more, bow-chicka-wow-wow. Imagine the possibilities to pose your lifeless polymer covered molded skeleton.
How flexible are RealDolls?
RealDolls’ silicone skin is extremely flexible and will sustain almost any reasonable position. There are some positions which are more stressful on both the silicone flesh and the internal joints. RealDolls cannot be “twisted into a pretzel,” compressed into a tight fetal position, or squeezed into a small storage area, and expected not to break or tear. These dolls are designed to be posed in positions that are natural and painless for most adults. Over-straining a joint can result in a break.
180 or more, I thought we covered that. If a real person can’t do it, then neither can a real doll. Too bad about the pretzel though, I’ve seen a video of that and it’s pretty impressive.
How strong are the doll’s joints?
RealDoll joints are made from stainless steel. They’re very strong and designed to bend in a very humanistic way. Although the joints are strong, bending a joint in an unnatural way or forcing the doll into a position that would be difficult for most people could result in a joint break and is considered misuse of the doll. Joints can be stiff when a doll is new and joints should be posed using a firm, two-handed grip on either side of the joint being careful not to twist the silicone unnaturally. The joints can make a slight creaking sound which is normal and will become less noticeable over time. Joints should be expected to loosen with use.
Well if a 400 pounder can belly flop on it, then it’s probably pretty strong.
How do I pose and protect my doll’s hands?
When moving your doll, always make sure the hands are out of the way. Never let your doll fall onto its hands as this can cause the finger wires to poke through the silicone. When carrying the doll it is best to put its hands over your shoulders or crossed over its chest. Always pose the hands gently and avoid putting pressure on the fingers. Should one of the wires poke through, you can easily push it back into the silicone. You can opt to use a silicone repair kit to patch the fingers or leave them as they are.
What? No pressure on the fingers, that’s where the magic happens.
Can a RealDoll’s fingers close and grip?
RealDoll fingers have internal wires that allow you to pose the hands, close them and make them hold very light items. The grip is not strong and the fingers should be handled with care.
So, also be careful what you wrap her hands around if you get my drift. She can hold tight, but not strong.
Can a RealDoll support itself enough to do it “doggy” style?
No, you will need to use a support to assist the weight distribution for doggy style. The RealDoll shoulder, elbow and knee joints do not lock and the dolls cannot support their own weight. We recommend supporting the doll’s upper body with pillows to assure that this position will be maintained during use. Posing the doll over a table or sofa also allows for doggy style positions.
Weaksauce. I guess I’ll need to get some special furniture.
Can the dolls stand upright, unsupported?
RealDolls cannot stand upright unsupported. The skeletal system is too flexible and collapsible to allow a doll to stand upright. The doll has the poise and relaxed state of a sleeping girl. The skeleton will hold a position as long as there is not a strong force against it, such as gravity. We try to shoot many of our photos of the dolls without supports but in some images the supports have been removed for artistic quality. Dolls can be suspended on chains from the neck bolt on a beam or joist, or they can be supported on stands. The doll can sit unsupported in some positions.
Oh, hello upstanding doll, nice to meet you. If only. Let’s be honest, you’re not going to need this thing in an upright position.
Can my doll sit, stand, and hold poses?
Yes, you can pose your doll in most positions an average person can achieve without pain. The dolls cannot support their own weight, however, and will sometimes require a stand or support for certain poses. The doll can hold the pose you put it in as long as no strong forces are applied to the limbs in that pose.
Now this is a much more practical question. Good job.
