In New Orleans, Mardi Gras is the most wonderful time of the year. People come from all over the world to celebrate this city-wide ode to decadence. As a New Orleans native, I’ve been doing it my entire life. Here are some hard-earned pointers for getting the most out of your Mardi Gras.
1. Pace yourself.
Everybody has heard the adage “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” While this expression may be worn out in other contexts, it’s evergreen when you’re talking about celebrating Mardi Gras. Carnival is an entire season, starting with Twelfth Night on January 6th and continuing until the big day itself (the date of which is determined by the Roman Catholic Easter), but the week before Mardi Gras day includes at least two parades a day, even more on Saturday and Sunday. Live music venues book multiple shows onto their schedules at night, so there are even more concerts than usual.
There are innumerable opportunities to have a good time, and if you try to do all of them, you’ll at best feel overwhelmed, at worst end up in the ER. So find a few things that sound like the most fun to you, or mix and match. If you’re going to go all out for Bacchus on Sunday night, it’s ok to skip the boozy brunch in favor of a decent lunch and a nap. And keep an eye on your drinking. In a week of fun and little sleep, it’s really easy to overdo the alcohol. Nobody wants to be lying on the bathroom floor by 10:00 on Mardi Gras morning. But some of us have done that, to our immediate misery and eternal chagrin.
2. Always know where your next bathroom is.
If you bop out of your hotel room and bip right onto Canal Street to catch the parades, this will not be a big deal. But one of the greatest pleasures of Mardi Gras is walking around to catch the action, to see and be seen — rocking a rolling buzz, of course. If you get too trashed and wander into the wrong bathroom line with a full bladder, you could wait half an hour for an overflowing toilet and no paper. Keep an eye on clean-looking bars and restaurants near the route. Even better, pay a fee or a buy a pass to one of the church- or school-run Port-o-Let farms set up just for parades. Volunteers are keeping those things clean just for your kiester! You can also do some research to find out where these are — I’m sure there’s an app for it by now. Of course, the best way to ensure all of this goes off without a hitch is:
3. Know somebody who’s having a party near the route.
People who have parties off the parade routes know what to expect; the friends they invite will inevitably have an out-of-town visitor or run into somebody walking between their house and the parade. It just happens. So they are prepared for a few extra bathroom visitors, people guzzling water and scarfing down potato chips in their kitchens, and the like.
Many people will even encourage you to hang out between the daytime parades and the evening parades. Disco napping in a generous friend’s lawn chair is an excellent opportunity to observe Rule #1. But you should always remember how to be a good guest: come bearing gifts (snacks, beer, and extra toilet paper are all suggestions I’ve heard before); don’t eat or drink anything that’s not obviously been put out for public consumption; don’t invite people to the party whom you just met or who are known bad guests; and take your leave if it looks like your hosts are tired, after you shower them with thanks for opening their home.
4. Eat wisely.
Let’s face it: the week leading up to Mardi Gras, for most natives, is jumbled stream of Popeye’s, king cake, Bloody Marys, boiled crawfish, High Life tallboys, Zapp’s potato chips, and the odd mimosa or four. This is not a healthy diet, and many of us are grateful for the arrival of Lent, which gives us a cultural reason to nurse our abused GI tracts back to health. But there are few opportunities sit down for a well-balanced meal during this time, and knowing this, the best approach is to get the most out of the calories you do consume.
Considering that you will probably need drunk food while you’re in town, scope out some good diners and other late-night options in advance. Or find a grocery store and buy some groceries to keep wherever you’re staying. If you wouldn’t be enticed by a particular restaurant on a regular vacation, don’t go there during Mardi Gras, because it will be grosser than usual. Good partying food options include Camellia Grill (Uptown or in the French Quarter), the Clover Grill in the Quarter, the Avenue Pub on lower St. Charles, any number of pizza places Uptown, the Praline Connection on Frenchmen Street, or the Lost Love Lounge on Dauphine Street in the Marigny, which serves up Vietnamese food, including soul-restoring pho, into the wee hours. And there is never a wrong time for coffee and beignets at Cafe du Monde.
5. Forget about Bourbon Street.
Seriously. It is awful even when Carnival isn’t happening. Better places to pass a good time are Magazine Street Uptown or Frenchmen Street or St. Claude in the Faubourg Marigny. Pick up a copy of Offbeat Magazine and find some live music and go see it. If you want to do the Quarter, there are plenty of better places than Bourbon Street, that have classic bars and restaurants that locals actually enjoy. Just stick to well-lit blocks and you will find something fun.
6. Know your surroundings.
Before you hit town, do your research. Know which neighborhood you’re staying in and how to get to important places. Keep an eye on the public transportation options and pay attention to service disruptions posted at www.norta.com. Perhaps most importantly for visitors, don’t forget that New Orleans, like a lot of cities, has a crime problem, and people who take advantage of tourists know there are a lot of drunk out-of-towners stumbling around everywhere. Pickpockets and muggers are out there. Travel with others and always know where you are and where you’re going. Don’t linger on dark or quiet streets even if it’s picturesque or your friend just did the most hilarious faceplant. And if you’re in the Quarter, know where you are in relation to the two police stations in the area.
7. Ditch your car.
On parade days, streets closest to the parade routes are blocked off. Parking in the neighborhoods around the parade routes is a challenge unless you arrive several hours early. Do like the locals and use streetcars, buses, cabs, and most especially bikes and your feet to get from place to place.
8. Remember that everybody in town celebrates this holiday.
Old people, very young people, families, black, white, gay, and straight alike celebrate Mardi Gras. Whatever you think the celebration is going to be like, you will be surprised by what you see. Look around and tune into the party happening on the street. Be considerate of other people’s good time. Don’t rope off territory at a parade or get into an argument over throws. If you catch a stuffed animal right in front of a little girl, it was probably meant for her. Give her the toy. If you step in front of an old lady and end up with her beads, give them to her. And just, you know, keep your junk where it belongs. Nobody needs to see that, and the NOPD officers stationed everywhere along the route *will* see you flash and *will* take you to OPP.
9. On the big day, wear a costume.
This may be the most important of all. Mardi Gras is frivolity and indulgence; it is the masque. It is a chance to escape yourself and experience the world as someone else — or as the part of yourself that you would like to express more often. Your costume doesn’t have to be the most expensive or the most beautiful; it just needs to be on your body.
So, that’s it. I’d like to ask my fellow New Orleanian clarity83 to correct or add to anything I’ve said here, and other locals or former locals like Matty McBoy to chime in with their advice for having a good time.
Have you been to Mardi Gras before? How did you make your celebration memorable?
First three images from Infrogmation’s flickr. Bicycle from howieluvzus flickr. Smoking bird from justindula’s flickr, Images 4, 5 Flickr.
