Recently I had the pleasure of sitting down with our very own Homoviper and learning a little more about him. Here’s what he had to share.
Describe the last dream you had.
I can’t remember the last one I had, but a recent one that has stuck in my memory: I was watching Lana Del Ray on the Home Shopping Network (let it be noted I barely know her music), and her hair was bleached blond, she was singing country music and peddling these stuffed bears, almost like Care Bears. Yeah, I don’t get it either.
What is stashed under your bed/mattress?
I actually just lifted up my mattress to check. There’s nothing there. In high school and college I would hide the notebooks I wrote fiction in under my mattress.
What song do you love to dance to?
I don’t really like to dance, which is a little strange since I listen to a lot of electronic music that falls into various dance genres. I would say “Da Funk” by Daft Punk is an old classic that will always get me chair dancing a little.
What is your favorite way to get exercise?
Riding a bicycle outdoors. It’s one of those things I did as a kid and then didn’t pick it up again until moving to NYC. It’s such a cool way to see the city. If not riding bike, then I love to just walk around. Granted I’m not talking about speed-walking so the exercise factor is pretty low, but there’s just something nice about walking in the city. I almost never take the subway to the stop closest to my office. I’d rather walk through the neighborhood 10 – 15 minutes, etc.
What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you?
Gosh, many people have done kind things for me, but the thing that comes to mind is: I found myself in a very, very scary spot financially once, and several of my friends got together and gathered whatever money they could spare and gave it to me. Is it shallow/American that the kindest thing I can think of is having to do with money? Oh well. Anyway another friend (who was not part of the group that pooled their cash) took me out to dinner during this financial hell I was going through, and while I was in the bathroom, she put a wad of cash in my backpack without telling me. When I found it the next morning and realized what she had done, I creyed.
In what way are you irrational?
My fear of roaches and spiders is pretty irrational, but sorry, giant roaches or giant spiders scare the shet out of me.
What magazine do you look for when you are stuck in the waiting room?
Entertainment Weekly.
Do you think “honesty is the best policy”? Why or why not?
I do, but I also recognize that sometimes honesty will cause damage. I think even so it’s almost always the best way to go.
If you were a police officer for one day what would you do with the authority?
Near my apartment, there is a place where a road splits and one lane bears right. The cars in that lane are supposed to yield to pedestrians, but they rarely do, and I’ve almost been hit there several times (and have seen others nearly get hit). I would stand there all day and write tickets for every motherfucker who didn’t yield to the pedestrians.
If you could see 24 hours into the future what would you do with this ability?
Just 24 hours? I’d probably try to figure out some way to plan my workday around when the boss was where. That’s sad, isn’t it?
If you had a 60 second Super Bowl advertisement what would you want to show a billion people?
Something gay, of course. Probably an ad about the meaning of family and how it can mean so many different things: two hetero parents, two gay parents, single parents, children raised by grandparents, etc.
You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?
It’s about the field of librarianship and archives. I find that most grown adults ask “Whut?” when I tell them what I do for a living. High schoolers should know about it.
How did you spend your childhood summers?
Outdoors! Srsly, from first thing in the morning til late into the night I’d be outside. I am fortunate to tan rather than burn, and thre are childhood pics of me where I am so dark it’s a little alarming. Riding bikes. Running around. Swimming. Most importantly, at the local amusement park riding the roller coasters.
What kind of student were you?
B+ with class clown tendencies.
What meal was your mothers best?
Lasagna.
What is most memorable about your high school years?
The drugs.
If you could interview anyone from your life living or dead, but not a celebrity, who would it be and why?
A professor from college. I really looked up to him and wished I could sort of be his friend and know more about him and his life, but I was too shy/hesitant/whatever to actually try to make that happen.
What was your favorite toy as a child… and now?
As a child, I loved toy keyboards and other music making things. Now, I really like the music software I play with on my computer! Or else the toy that gets hidden well when my mom visits.
What part of pop culture do you wish would just go away?
Fame for fame’s sake. Reality shows whose sole purpose is to show someone else’s life (Housewives, etc.), which isn’t even true because it’s all so horribly staged, etc.
What’s your favorite fantasy people sandwich?
The Kitchen Cousins. COME TO PAPA!
Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What lessons did that person teach you?
Probably my mum. My parents were divorced when I was pretty young so she struggled a lot raising my sibling and I. I guess all the typical lessons you would expect: hard work, determination, etc.
What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?
Though I’ve seen it before, it’s been more than a few years, and I just watched it again a couple of days ago: Chopper. Strange, unsettling, disturbing. Yes, because of the violence, but Bana’s performance just makes you uneasy.
What high brow cultural activity do you like to participate in? What “red-neck” activity?
High brow: I like attending New York Film Festival or other film ‘events’ in the city. Low brow: I’m having trouble thinking of a low brow/redneck thing! If I think of something I’ll update you. I’m sure my brain is just trying to block these things out.
If you had to describe yourself in one .gif what would it be?
