Well it has been another busy week for the world’s assholes. Don’t these people ever take a damn vacation? I guess not, so let’s get started.
Our first asshole actually technically commenced with their douchebaggery last week, but the fallout and fail has continued into this week. Let’s give a nod to comedian (?) Daniel Tosh, who suggested that a female heckler at a California show should be gang-raped by other audience members. What a fucking prick. Of course he followed this by the customary non-apology on Twitter.
Ah, the dead baby defense. Genius, Dude. Tosh doesn’t even really understand what the issue is because on top of being an asshole he is also a complete moron. He also can’t seem to see the difference between making a rape joke and suggesting that his audience members rape somebody. Suggesting that humor can be used to deal with dark and unpleasant topics is irrelevant in this case because Tosh is too shitty of a comedian to think that much about his art anyway.
Speaking of basic cable, our next asshole award goes to Viacom Cable. This week during a dispute with DirecTV, Viacom not only cut off 17 channels to DirecTV viewers (because DirecTV refuses to pay increased fees), but it took down free internet access to some of its most popular shows so that nobody can watch them. Worse, they are taking out super annoying ads in the New York Times with Jon Stewart’s picture complaining that DirecTV is taking away our freedoms.
You know, maybe the cable companies need to start seeing the writing on the wall. Cable is more and more expensive and cable companies routinely show up with the most customer complaints in consumer surveys. This is why people are abandoning cable for the internet. However, Viacom is not helping itself by cutting off internet access to its programming. In the long run it is this kind of behavior that is going to drive consumers to different sources of entertainment. Viacom is not doing itself any favors with consumers by acting like a spoiled corporate brat.
Our next asshole comes from the law enforcement community. Metropolitan Police Officer Christopher Picciano is on administrative leave while he is under investigation for threatening to shoot first lady Michelle Obama. Picciano is a 17 year veteran of the MPD and was part of Obama’s motorcycle escort. Apparently, he bragged to his buddies that he was going to shoot the first lady and showed them a picture of the gun he would do it with. What an asshole.
Important Asshole Update: I am sure we all remember Rhode Island State Legislator Dan Gordon. Gordon, who was thrown out of his own party’s caucus and was arrested as a fugitive from justice at one point, failed to gather enough signatures to get on his reelection ballot this week. The state rep needed only 50 signatures to qualify, but got on 22 valid signatures. Maybe he should have been collecting signatures instead of being a douche on Twitter. So long, Asshole.
Thanks to Bad Hat Harry and Dancing Queen for this week’s tips.
