Fortunately for most people, the DVR, Netflix or some other device prevents you from having to endure the onslaught of overly loud, purposefully obnoxious sales pitches as you watch your television program. But every once in a while, you get caught in the kitchen or dozing off and next thing you know, you’ve seen and/or heard the most annoying commercial ever to have been made. Here are the top 10 that are currently running today.
10. The Messenger Loves Progressive Independent Agents
Why it’s annoying: Thrift store outfit including pleather jacket? Check. Douchy facial hair? Check. Calls for individuality? Check! This commercial panders to the younger demographic so hard, that it should just be called: “Look at this fucking hipster.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_Vg7HVRS10
9. DIRECTV – “Don’t Fall into a Dinner Party” 2012 Commercial
Why it’s annoying: It’s way too long. None of these things will happen simply because we have cable TV. Shut up, Direct TV.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo2hyWYOV6g
8. Best Job | P&G London 2012 Olympic Games Film
Why it’s annoying: Apparently no father in the world has ever helped his kid make it to the Olympics. It must be for the fame and glory that he only shows up when it counts, at the Olympics when his kid has actually made it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NScs_qX2Okk
7. FIAT 500 Abarth Commercial – Charlie Sheen “House Arrest”
Why it’s annoying: Who the hell wants to party with this greasy, tiger urine-laden, booze and booty hound? More importantly, why would we do it in a FIAT? The only reason to have a FIAT in this situation is so that Sheen doesn’t fit into your car as you try to escape.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjYxE2VD7VE
6. Empire Carpet
Why it’s annoying: Next to late night attorney commercials, daytime commercials are the worst on TV. Ninety percent of them are selling stay at home moms some home cleaning product because, you know, cleaning is all moms do. This one never gets out of your head once you hear it. I’m sorry.
5. State Farm “Magic Jingle”
Why it’s annoying: Why are these asshats stopped in the middle of a buffalo field eating a sandwich? If you ask me, they deserve whatever was coming to them. To add insult to injury, their stupidity is going to make my rates go up because State Farm is going to cover the damage to their car. Maybe. If you’ve ever dealt with an insurance claim, you know that it’s highly unlikely this will be covered.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRS4shfH1Pw
4. Party Rock Anthem-Kia Soul Hamster Commercial
Why it’s annoying: This is an oldie but it’s still playing and needs to be included because of the awful trend of anthropomorphizing rodents. It was most troubling with this completely inexplicable Quizno’s ad. Who wants to eat there after watching this? Kia managed to combine a song that we heard every 30 seconds with bouncing rodent FUPAS – too far!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zJWA3Vo6TU&feature=related
3. Verizon Crying Commercial
Why it’s annoying: In what way is it not annoying? Empty nest mother sobbing with sobbing clingy daughter who is going down the street to college. I cry for the significant others of these women. I cry for women.
2. ABILIFY® Anti-Depressant Add-on Treatment
Why it’s annoying: You’ve got a strong marketing plan when your commercial aims to cause the disease it also aims to cure. Did you know that depression comes with a sad little puddle that follows you around? It does but Abilify will make it…less creepy? Don’t forget all the delightful side effects to this medication! Increased thoughts of suicide! Uncontrollable muscle movements! Seizures and impaired judgment! Jeebus. Just give me the drug already, it will be easier.
1. ASPCA – Willie Nelson – Always On My Mind
Why it’s annoying: Oh for the love of zumanity can they make this stuff more depressing and awful? Who do they think sits through one of these commercials to get the number to actually adopt an animal. NO ONE DOES. Sitting through one of these is like having someone is simultaneously hitting your pinky toe with a hammer while telling you that your high school sweetheart cheated on you with your best friend. Knock it off, ASPCA. Show more stuff like this and I’m fairly certain it would get a better response, jerks.